Bitch, Please

WHEW!

Last final completed and the semester is officially over.  I think part of the reason I got so upset the other night with all the Douche brouhaha is because of all the stress I’ve been under with school.  This semester was hard.  In all, I wrote 27 papers in 15 weeks, and that was just for two classes.  Every Sunday was spent battling math and usually doing some kind of technology project.  I’m exhausted.

Thank you for all of your comments on the last post.  I know that there are people out there who have it much worse, who have to battle for child support and deal with their exes (and their ex’s spouses) a lot more frequently, and I am thankful that it’s really not that bad on my end.  Sometimes you just get worn down, especially when it’s two against one and they hold the cards, and I guess that’s what happened.  After I got the last text from her (which I did not answer), I emailed Douche a very succinct message with the page about alimony from our divorce decree.  There was nothing nasty in it, nothing bad about his wife or him, just simply informing him that yes, it was set for four years, not two.  I got a response almost immediately (hmmm, that’s odd), telling me that I should go through him, not his wife (no shit, Sherlock.  I would have done that if I knew it was an option), that he’ll fix his “oversight,” and that I’m childish for “going back and forth” with his wife.  Oh, and also that it’s good to know that money is all I care about.  Ummm, if money was all I cared about, wouldn’t I have taken him to court for a correction to child support when he started making more money?  Wouldn’t I have made a big stink about this earlier in the month?  Is this always the argument for ex-spouses who don’t want to pay what they’re ordered to, whether it’s maintenance or child support?  Because I was awarded a settlement, I’m a gold digger?  Prick.

I understand that it’s not his wife’s fault, I do.  Even if she did “steal my husband,” (I hate that term, but it fits) it was ultimately HIS choice, it was his fault the alimony didn’t get paid, and it is his fault that there is so much animosity between the two of us.  Every time I have to deal with her, I try to remember that I don’t know what lies he’s told her about me, but I do know that he is a compulsive liar.  I also know that he can be very convincing, so I’m sure she’s believed whatever it was.  I also know that she isn’t very bright (hellooooo, 48 months = two years to her), and doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of self esteem. 

I find myself wanting to fight, though.  To stick up for myself and say, “don’t you know that he’s a dirty liar?!!?!?!”  But I don’t.  What would be the point?  It might feel good for a few minutes, but it wouldn’t change anything.  It wouldn’t put the money in my pocket, it wouldn’t make him change his ways and actually, oh, I don’t know, be a real father to these boys.  It definitely wouldn’t change her mind about me.  Why do I care?  I hate that he can still get to me like this.  That I feel defensive and angry over something that doesn’t even really matter.

Oh well, with any luck, the check will be in the mail shortly and will give the boys and myself a little fun money over the school break.  And that is that until the next big thing comes along that we have to deal with, which will most likely be the boys going to visit in the summer.  Do you know how expensive it is to get to Alaska?

Now that the semester is over, I can finally relax a little.  I’ve already gone to the library and picked up some books for fun reading, and I’m headed out tonight with the New Fella to listen to some music and have some drinks and, I’m sure, a lot of laughs.  I’ve been looking forward to it for two weeks, and it’s finally here!  Hope you all have a good night!

11 Responses to “Bitch, Please”


  1. 1 The Dish December 17, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Sweetie- You are exactly right. Getting mean would not do any damn good in the long run. I just hate that they make you feel this way. I would love to bitch slap them both. But we both know that I do not tolerate fools easily. I hope you and the boys find some fun stuff to do over break!

    I can imagine how expensive it is to get to Alaska, because I know how expensive it is to get to Minot, ND. Sucks.

    Congrats on being done for the semester! Have a blast tonight, Ginger! 😉

  2. 2 Ms. Moon December 17, 2009 at 7:56 pm

    Yep. I agree with everything you said.
    Now have a great time tonight!

  3. 3 Evil Twin's Wife December 17, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    Blow off some steam tonight and have fun! The only thing you can control is your reaction to their stupidity, and I’m proud that you are not stooping to their low level!

  4. 4 dadshouse December 18, 2009 at 2:40 am

    I’m worn down too, and I’ve gone through half the stuff as you. You rock!!!!! Enjoy your relaxation

  5. 5 Vinomom December 18, 2009 at 10:55 am

    I wanted to jump in and bite his head off. Just because you ask about money you are owed now “all you care about is money” ? You raise the kids, he doesn’t, are you supposed to somehow be more caring towards him for some reason?

    Ugh. Not trying to fire you up again but that just disgusts me. And if he wants to see his kids in Alaska HE can pay for it!

    I hope you had a great time with The New Fella last night. And congrats on getting all of that school work done! That is quite an accomplishment.

  6. 6 amy d December 18, 2009 at 11:49 am

    I just can’t even imagine how hard it must be to bite your tongue on every occasion with the douche and his wife. BLAH! You are much stronger than I. I’m glad you got a response so quickly and your money is on its way!

    Let us know how your night out was with the new fella soon, huh;)

  7. 7 Ron December 18, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    I’m still game if you need the kneecaps whacked!!

    A guy that cheats on his wife is the same sort of guy who won’t understand why he has to pay alimony. “It’s so not fair that I work and have to pay her!!” waa waa waa. What a waste of skin.

  8. 8 Ginger Magnolia December 18, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Dish – Nope, it wouldn’t, much as I’d like to.

    Ms. Moon – Done and done!

    ETW – What, what! That’s ’cause I’m a classy dame. 😉

    Dad – Thanks!

    Vino – Yeah, that’s actually in the divorce papers, too. Non-custodial parent pays for travel to/from for visits. Doesn’t mean he won’t make a fuss about it, though.

    Amy – I’m sure they’ll take their time getting the money to me, but eh, what’re ya gonna do? I mean it when I say I don’t have it bad AT ALL with them. I have friends who have to deal with things like this on a weekly basis. I can’t imagine!

    Ron – I agree. No-good jerks, the both of them.

  9. 9 lola December 20, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Well, at least you can say all the rotten things you want to say right here on your blog! You’re right, it would get you absolutely nowhere to get mean, and that’s exactly what they want you to do, because then you’re an asshole. Stay calm and cool, and it will drive them more crazy than if you freak out.

    I have to remind myself of that constantly. I average about 50/50 in the keeping calm department, so I guess I need more practice 😉 I hope you had fun with the new fella!!!!

  10. 10 Sarcastic Bastard December 21, 2009 at 4:46 pm

    Enjoy your break, Ginger.

  11. 11 mumma boo December 22, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Douche is too nice a term for him, but I’m trying to tone down my potty mouth so I’ll refrain from coming up with something more, ahem, colorful. 😉

    Enjoy your break from school and the time with your boys and New Fella. You deserve it!


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