Archive for December, 2009

And So It Goes

Another year down, another new one beginning.  This New Year’s Eve finds me in a much different place than last, and that is a good thing. 

2009 was much better than 2008, and despite the heartache it brought, I can still appreciate it as a good year.  How could I not?  It brought me my little Senor Fussypants!  I can hardly remember what it was like without my youngest nephew, he’s such a ray of sunshine.  Big J tried harder in school and succeeded beyond my expectations, and Little J has just gotten smarter and funnier.  The one resolution I made for this year (and the only one I’ve ever made) was to get out more and meet new people. 

Much of 2008 was lonely, but 2009 was not.  I made friends with a lot of the other students in my program at school, I met the Wonder Twin and got to know the Fireman better.  I loved them both dearly, but neither were meant for me.  I’m happy to count them both as friends today.  I’m especially glad that I am able to be (carefully) close to WT again.

This fall, I met The Nerd.  He’s been a great friend, and he’s shaping up to be a great boyfriend, also.  We’ve done a lot of fun things together, and I could see this being a very good thing for both of us. 

All in all, I’d say 2009 was not a bad year at all.  Here’s wishing you all a fantastic 2010!

Totally Late Music Tuesday

ACK!  The difficulty of being on vacation is forgetting what day it is.  Hell, I don’t really care if I don’t know what day it is, but I forgot to post a song.  THE HORROR!  So, it’s late, but it’s here.  Sun Kil Moon’s Glenn Tipton.  Happy Tuesday!

New Beginnings

I’ve been wanting to write all day, but I’ve had Sr. Fussypants for most of it, so haven’t been able to.  Now that he’s sleeping (right next to me on the bed), I’m gonna tell y’all a little bit about the new fella. 

First of all, he’s finally got a name…The Nerd.  Yes, he is a nerd.  Buuuut, he’s one of those nerds who knows good music, and watches great shows.  He doesn’t always get my pop culture references (he usually does, except for celebrity stuff), but we have plenty of things to talk about.  He’s not all, “(insert random nerdery here, maybe something about wizards),” but he does have a degree in computer science and writes software for a living.  He’s a smarty, and I dig it.  We played Trivial Pursuit the other night (ok, you can call me a nerd, too), and he kept up – I only won by one pie piece!  😉  He also helped me pass math this semester, which means he had the patience to sit with me and explain the problems, sometimes for three hours at a time.  He’s been married before, but has no kids and the ex-wife lives far away.  It’s like the holy grail for divorced women – he has been married, so has the experience of both marriage and divorce, but there’s no drama with the ex.  If any of you have been paying attention, he’s the friend who dressed up as Dexter for Halloween, and we began dating shortlyafter that.  We were friends for a few months before deciding to date, and I think that was a good idea. 

We’ve been talking for a couple of weeks about when he’d meet the boys, and we figured we’d just wait until after the new year, but with the boys being out of school, we decided to go ahead and do it last night.  We ended up going bowling first and had a blast!  The boys warmed right up to him, and Big J said to me (without my asking), “Mom, I really like The Nerd.  He seemed kind of shy at first, but he’s really cool!”  Oh, it melted my heart.  We all acted silly and bowled really well, thanks to the bumpers we didn’t ask for.  Little J got the highest score (140), and there was a lot of dancing around and laughing and just silliness in general.  By the time we were done bowling, everyone was starving, so we went over to a burger joint that the kids love (it has an arcade, too).  We stuffed ourselves silly and the kids played some games before we came home.  The kids kept talking about how much fun they had, even this morning.  It couldn’t have gone any better, and I went to sleep a happy gal.

Things are going very well, and I just wanted to share.  I hope to be around to your pages at some point today, it’ll probably depend on how long I have Sr. Fussypants.  Happy Monday, everyone.

Now, That Is Odd

Christmas was strange this year, at least for the boys and me.  Not bad at all, just…different.

Leading up to this Christmas, I had trouble getting into the spirit.  These last few years I haven’t felt my usual, “YAY for Christmas!” self.  It wasn’t that I wasn’t glad it was coming, or that I felt miserable, it was more a lack of excitement, and there was no fudge made, no divinity (when I was married, I would bake/cook up a storm between Thanksgiving and Christmas).  I’ve pretty much just been relishing the fact that I don’t have homework to do or papers to write, and that I’ve been able to sleep late and get lost in the newest Stephen King novel.

Christmas Eve, which is usually spent having a sort-of big dinner with my parents and step-brothers, ended up being quiet, with just us and the parents having BLTs for dinner.  Not exactly Christmas-y, but delicious nonetheless.  The boys were allowed to open one of their presents from under the tree, and Little J and I watched a few holiday episodes of shows on Nickelodeon (Big J is just too cool for that sort of thing anymore) before bed.  Once they were tucked in, I put my Santa hat on and arranged their stockings, then went to bed and watched some episodes of Six Feet Under.  (This is a great show, by the by.  Oh!  The characters are wonderful!) 

We got up at 7, which is super early when you don’t fall asleep until 2, and opened presents.  The boys both loved their Santa gifts (video games), and seemed to like their gifts from my parents and me.  I got some pretty sweaters and boots, and my dad sent us some gift cards – mine will go towards us doing some fun stuff over break. 🙂  They played their new games while I read…King has the ability to completely suck me in, and my parents and step-brothers made the drive to my step-grandparents house a few hours away.  We had the house to ourselves, and that in itself was a great gift.  We pretty much just hung out all morning, and had a small lunch of ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and veggies (everything was leftovers but the stuffing), and took a nap. 

When we woke up, we made all of our calls and decided to go to the movies.  Never having gone to the movies on Christmas day, I naively said “Sure!  That’s a great idea!”  Oh, me.  I looked up the times for the Chipmunks movie, and decided we’d go to the theater in Michigan because it’s super cheap.  We got there right before the movie was supposed to start, and had to drive all over looking for parking – not a good sign.  The show was sold out, and we had just driven 30 minutes to find that out.  Wah, wah.  We checked the other theater in our town, and the next show was in 30 minutes, followed by another in an hour and a half.  Okay.  So we drove home, waiting a bit, then headed to our local, more expensive theater.  We did make it in time for the show!  We ended up eating dinner from McDonald’s, which was really weird to me, but Little J said he liked it as opposed to the usual big dinner (weird, weird).  We also went over to my friend Keith’s house for a little bit and played a card game before coming home and going to bed.

Did anyone else have strange experiences this year?  I mean, aside from the usual disgruntled family members?

Merry Christmas to All

Whether you love Christmas or loathe it, I hope you’re having a great day today.  Love to you all!

Totally Music Tuesday

I hope your weeks are going well.  I’ve been doing a whole lot of reading (for fun, yay!) and even got to spend most of the day with Sr. Fussypants today.  That’s about it, and that’s pretty good.  Another sort-of Christmas song, something a little different.  Have a happy Tuesday.  🙂

Bitch, Please

WHEW!

Last final completed and the semester is officially over.  I think part of the reason I got so upset the other night with all the Douche brouhaha is because of all the stress I’ve been under with school.  This semester was hard.  In all, I wrote 27 papers in 15 weeks, and that was just for two classes.  Every Sunday was spent battling math and usually doing some kind of technology project.  I’m exhausted.

Thank you for all of your comments on the last post.  I know that there are people out there who have it much worse, who have to battle for child support and deal with their exes (and their ex’s spouses) a lot more frequently, and I am thankful that it’s really not that bad on my end.  Sometimes you just get worn down, especially when it’s two against one and they hold the cards, and I guess that’s what happened.  After I got the last text from her (which I did not answer), I emailed Douche a very succinct message with the page about alimony from our divorce decree.  There was nothing nasty in it, nothing bad about his wife or him, just simply informing him that yes, it was set for four years, not two.  I got a response almost immediately (hmmm, that’s odd), telling me that I should go through him, not his wife (no shit, Sherlock.  I would have done that if I knew it was an option), that he’ll fix his “oversight,” and that I’m childish for “going back and forth” with his wife.  Oh, and also that it’s good to know that money is all I care about.  Ummm, if money was all I cared about, wouldn’t I have taken him to court for a correction to child support when he started making more money?  Wouldn’t I have made a big stink about this earlier in the month?  Is this always the argument for ex-spouses who don’t want to pay what they’re ordered to, whether it’s maintenance or child support?  Because I was awarded a settlement, I’m a gold digger?  Prick.

I understand that it’s not his wife’s fault, I do.  Even if she did “steal my husband,” (I hate that term, but it fits) it was ultimately HIS choice, it was his fault the alimony didn’t get paid, and it is his fault that there is so much animosity between the two of us.  Every time I have to deal with her, I try to remember that I don’t know what lies he’s told her about me, but I do know that he is a compulsive liar.  I also know that he can be very convincing, so I’m sure she’s believed whatever it was.  I also know that she isn’t very bright (hellooooo, 48 months = two years to her), and doesn’t seem to have a whole lot of self esteem. 

I find myself wanting to fight, though.  To stick up for myself and say, “don’t you know that he’s a dirty liar?!!?!?!”  But I don’t.  What would be the point?  It might feel good for a few minutes, but it wouldn’t change anything.  It wouldn’t put the money in my pocket, it wouldn’t make him change his ways and actually, oh, I don’t know, be a real father to these boys.  It definitely wouldn’t change her mind about me.  Why do I care?  I hate that he can still get to me like this.  That I feel defensive and angry over something that doesn’t even really matter.

Oh well, with any luck, the check will be in the mail shortly and will give the boys and myself a little fun money over the school break.  And that is that until the next big thing comes along that we have to deal with, which will most likely be the boys going to visit in the summer.  Do you know how expensive it is to get to Alaska?

Now that the semester is over, I can finally relax a little.  I’ve already gone to the library and picked up some books for fun reading, and I’m headed out tonight with the New Fella to listen to some music and have some drinks and, I’m sure, a lot of laughs.  I’ve been looking forward to it for two weeks, and it’s finally here!  Hope you all have a good night!