The Sort-Of True Adventures of Our Aunt Becky, Part Deux

When we last checked in with Our Aunt Becky, she was carried away in the beak of a flamingo.  If you missed the first part, you can find it HERE.  We rejoin her story, already in progress.

 

We weren’t sure where the flamingo was taking her, but we knew we couldn’t let anything happen to our dear, sweet, loving, kind Aunt Becky, so we followed that damn pink bird all over the yard.  Big and Little J were playing a game, and wouldn’t you know it, that asshole flamingo dropped Aunt Becky right in the hole.  AUNT BECKY GOT CORNHOLED!!!!*  The terror!

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Luckily, Little J was there to save the day.  He reached under the board and grabbed her before the flamingo could get its dirty birdie beak back on our precious aunt. 

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However, in her confused state, Aunt Becky took off running into the forest.  We didn’t understand why she ran away, but I guess she was just out of her mind with fear of the big pink bird.  We called and called, but she didn’t answer. 

When she finally came back, she had quite the tale to tell.  Apparently, she’d run into a gorilla.  I wouldn’t have believed It myself if she hadn’t had pictures.  I mean, how often do gorillas just run around in the woods – in Indiana, no less?  Aunt Becky told us that he was a nice gorilla, and offered her a ride on his butt for as far as he was going. 

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The gorilla got to where he was going, and bid Aunt Becky adieu.  She hopped down and began humping it in what she hoped was the right direction back to our place.  Eventually, she came to a little shop, where she ran into a moose.  Again, what’s a moose doing here?  No clue, but like the gorilla, he was nice and offered her a ride.  At first, she opted to ride on top of his head, but found that she was much more comfortable down in his moose knuckle. 

 

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She rode that moose knuckle all the way to the edge of the property, and then got a little help from an inchworm and an ant to make the long trek across the yard. 

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We were all so happy to have Our Aunt Becky back that we toasted with wine.  She wanted to wash the smell of gorilla ass and moose knuckle from her skin and didn’t partake in the vino.

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We stayed up late into the night giggling and having a slumber party, and the next day we decided to have breakfast before it was time for Aunt Becky to go.  She started off sharing some hot chocolate with Big J, and then for some reason, she decided to chug the syrup (yeah, I know…gross).  We took before and after pictures.

Photo-Beck

Photo-Becky

Photo-Bec

Right after this photo was taken, Aunt Becky turned four shades of green.  I wonder if she had any “accidents” on her way to her next adventure… 

Thanks for coming, Auntie, and come back now, ya hear?

You can read about Aunt Becky’s adventures with other bloggers HERE.

*Corn hole is a bean-bag type game.  I’d never heard of it until I moved to the midwest, and the name always makes me giggle.  “Who wants to play corn hole?!”  Hahahahaha.

11 Responses to “The Sort-Of True Adventures of Our Aunt Becky, Part Deux”


  1. 1 Vinomom August 31, 2009 at 8:41 am

    Aunt Becky sure was busy! You’ve got a pluthera of wild life in Indiana apparently! Love it!

  2. 2 lola August 31, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Well, thank god you explained the Cornhole game! I got a little nervous for poor Auntie.

  3. 3 Ron August 31, 2009 at 1:43 pm

    I want to play cornhole with Aunt Becky!!! What?! Why are you handing me a bean bag?? LOL

  4. 4 Ms. Moon August 31, 2009 at 5:14 pm

    Flights of fine imagination!

  5. 5 Aunt Becky August 31, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    I get around, ’round, ’round, ’round, I get AROUND!

  6. 6 Evil Twin's Wife August 31, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    I think Cornhole should just be called “The Bean Bag Game”. There is actually an American Cornhole club or something like that.

    This was WAY TOO funny! I’m glad Aunt Becky had such a great time visiting you!

  7. 7 The Dish September 1, 2009 at 2:24 pm

    Ha, ha… You said mooseknuckle! And it is called bags around these parts.

  8. 8 gingermagnolia September 2, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Vinomom – Yup, I was really glad I had my camera with me that day…

    Lola – Hahaha, she got cornholed…I will ALWAYS find that funny.

    Ron – Bwahahahaa.

    Ms. Moon – Thanks!

    Aunt Becky – You saucy minx, you!

    ETW – I know, and some people are deadly serious about it, too. Cornhole tournaments galore!

    Dish – Hee hee, I did.

  9. 9 mumma boo September 5, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    This is absolutely hilarious! I love it! Poor Becky, between the two of us, she’s certainly been through the wringer!


  1. 1 Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » Aunt Becky Travels The World And Does Stuff. Trackback on August 31, 2009 at 8:39 pm
  2. 2 Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » The Hamptons Are Pretentious Unless You Invite Me Along. Trackback on September 9, 2009 at 12:57 am

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