The Adventures of Our Aunt Becky will continue Monday.  Until then…

The other day, I had to go up to campus to get the one textbook I could neither rent at Chegg (love this website!) nor find elsewhere for cheap.  The damn book cost more than all my other books combined.  Holy inflated prices, Batman!  Anyhow, the Wonder Twin was on campus as well, so we met up.  Neither one of us had anything to do for a while, so he tagged along with me to a secondhand shop.  I was hoping to find a nice jacket or coat, since winter (damn, stupid winter) is on its way, and a girl’s gotta have some options, right?

We were laughing about something as we walked into the shop, and what happened next was odd, yet funny, so I thought I’d share.

Shop lady:  Hi!  What are you looking for today? 

Me:  Oh, just looking, thanks.

Shop lady:  Are you looking for a wedding dress?!

Me:  (laughing) No.

WT:  No, I’m gay.  (Why is this the first thing he thought to say?  Why don’t you want to pretend to be engaged to me???  WHY OH WHY?)

Shop lady:  Oh, well okay, then.

We looked at the coats, but honestly all they had were furs/faux furs and leather coats in all colors.  Some of the furs even had paws and faces!  We made our way to some of the clothes racks and laughed our asses off at the polyester, shoulder-padded, multicolored summer jacket (I wish we’d gotten a picture), and the lingerie (who would wear underwear that belonged to someone else?!?!), but there was nothing that we wanted.  As we were leaving, the shop lady spoke up again.

Shop lady:  Young lady (ooooh!) would you like one of our cards?

Me:  Sure.

Shop lady:  (writing hours on the card) These hours are good until after Labor Day, which is the 7th, and then we’ll be open an hour later every day. 

Me:  (nodding my head)

Shop lady:  (looking at my naked finger)  Are you engaged?  Looking to get engaged?

Me:  No.

Shop lady:  Well, if you ever do get married, you should come back!

Me:  Erm, okay.  Thanks.

Ok, beyond this being bizarre, methinks this lady is in need of more customers.  Specifically, ones who are looking to get married.  I wish I had thought to tell her “My husband is dead!” or something equally horrible so she’d have left us alone.  As it was, we just kept asking each other if we were “looking to get married.”  Good times. 

Have you ever had weird exchanges like this?  What did you do and say?  Did you think it was funny, or get insulted because Oh My God!  How could you not at least be engaged at your age?!?!

8 Responses to “Intermission”

  1. 1 The Dish August 28, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    I think I would have rammed the card down her throat. And shame on WT for not playing along.

  2. 2 Ron August 28, 2009 at 1:28 pm

    Hmmmm… he could have pretended to be your love slave. Then you could have asked her where she keeps her selection of bondage gear and riding crops.

  3. 4 Ms. Moon August 28, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    I get into situations like this ALL THE TIME. And honestly, I instigate a lot of them.

  4. 5 Vinomom August 28, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    I thought what WT said was funny.

    But that lady? Um weird. Why does she keep asking if you’re engaged? Maybe she had a son she wanted to hook you up with!

  5. 6 lola August 29, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    These are the moments I live for! Oh, and if that’s the first thing that popped into WT’s mind, he might just be gay!!!

  6. 7 teeni August 30, 2009 at 4:24 pm

    LOL! Well, I’m glad you didn’t get talked into anything – that salesperson was definitely pushy. The only thing I can think of is that they came into a sizable wedding stash of clothes recently and that is probably where they make their most money. But sheesh, if someone answers you once already that they are NOT looking for wedding stuff then it should be dropped. Creepy.

  7. 8 gingermagnolia August 31, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    Dish – Neither one of us knew what to say!

    Ron – Damn! Wish I’d have thought of that!

    Jessie – Yes, it was.

    Ms. Moon – I would love to see you in action.

    Vinomom – Yeah, he always knows how to make me laugh.

    Lola – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

    Teeni – I think she just wanted to move some of her dresses. She was a dress pusher!

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