Aunt Becky came for a visit this month! No, THE ACTUAL AMAZING Aunt Becky didn’t schlepp her sexy ass over to Indiana, but she did send me a few of her nifty business cards. You see, she’s running a contest on her blog, Mommy Wants Vodka, to see who can be the most creative with her cards. You can read about her exploits with other stalkers fanatics readers HERE.
I was sickeningly excited when I received the pink envelope in the mail. My Aunt Becky loves me! She does! I stuck the cards in my purse and started thinking of all the things I could do with them. What follows is based on actual events (more or less).
The whole family was abuzz upon Aunt Becky’s arrival. Little J played butler and fetched her a cold one. It wasn’t her usual vodka, but she seemed to like it, as she drank it down in about 2 seconds flat. She was tired from the trip, and boy, it was hot!
Once Aunt Becky was cooled off and had relaxed a bit, we went downtown for a proper South Bend greeting from Knute Rockne. He took a likin’ to ol’ Aunt Becky, and gave her these words of advice concerning her contest, “Show me a good and gracious loser and I’ll show you a failure.” They whispered more about losers, laughing and pointing at yours truly, because that’s how they roll. They were all, “Blah, blah, blah WINNING. Blah, blah, blah PRIDE.” I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening.
For some reason, Aunt Becky was in a beach-y kind of mood. She wanted to play the ukulele for us, so we obliged her, and as she played a song about tiptoeing through the tulips, we danced around her.
Little Senor Fussypants wanted to play with Aunt Becky, too. He saw how much fun we were having with her, and he wanted some face time.
It was still quite hot out, so Our Aunt Becky strolled over to the waterfall and took in the beautiful view. She thought for a moment about ending it all, just jumping, plunging to her watery death in the fabulous Dolphin Falls. Then she remembered how totally rad she is and realized how stupid THAT would be (very).
Just as she was climbing down off the ledge, a flamingo captured Aunt Becky in it’s beak! OH NO! How was Aunt Becky going to get out of this pickle? Who could possibly save her?! Will she ever write again???? What will become of Our Aunt Becky?
To be continued…
Names Have Been Changed..... 
If hanging out with Senor Fussypants doesn’t win you the contest I’m not sure what will 🙂
HAAA, nice work! I hope you win this contest, too. I should probably get off my ass and enter it myself.
Senor is getting cuter by the minute!!
Too friggin awesome!
You are totally the last person I would have thought to join a blog contest. I don’t know why I’m saying that and it’s NOT an insult. I just like learning new facets to people’s personalities!
I love it!
Oh and after I pushed Submit I thought to myself “The Last Person” is a little harsh. I was just surprised. You aren’t the last person I would think of. I Swear.
Great job! Very funny, too!
OH NOES!!!
Your little Senor IS adorable! Liked Aunt Becky’s waterfall drama! Learn something new about her with every trip she takes. 😀
I love this! And I must have that flamingo.
Too funny. I love this!
AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Aunt Becky looks like she’s having a BLAST! I can’t wait to read the rest! Nice work!
*HUGS*
Ron – He IS a good mascot.
Lola – I hope so, too. And you totally should, you’ve got the photgraphy skillz.
Vinomom – Your ass cracked me up with this! I’ve actually won a few!
ETW – Thanks!
Aunt Becky – Wonder what’ll happen next!
Sarah – This is an awesome contest. So glad you stopped by, come again!
Christine – I have had such a blast reading everyone else’s stories. Thanks for stopping by, come again soon!
Karen – This was so much fun!