The Dating Game

It’s late and I can’t sleep because I was a goober and slept too late this morning.  Whoops.  That was stupid.

Anyhow, it’s been a quiet sort of day.  I’ve watched a movie (Tropic Thunder – it was great!), read more of Nikki Sixx’s autobiography (that dude is a freak of nature), read any blogs that had been updated, chatted with a few folks, and goofed around with my boys.  Now, it’s reeeeally quiet in the house, and my mind is running amuck. 

One part nostalgia and two parts melancholy, I guess you could call it.  Don’t really know how to articulate whatever it is at the moment, so I suppose I’ll catch you up on the dating game. 

I’ve gone out with Drillbit again.  I’ve kind of been struggling with this one.  Like I said before, he knows that right now, I’m just dating around.  I want to make sure that if I get serious about someone, that it’s someone worth being serious about.  However, I find myself wondering if I’m doing the right thing here.  He seems pretty smitten, and I am kind of lackadaisical about the whole thing.  I like him, I like hanging out with him, we have plenty to talk about, but (please don’t shoot me for this) he seems almost too nice.  To be fair, I felt this way about The Fireman at first, too. 

Here’s the thing, though…under the new rules, we’ve only had a few kisses, nothing passionate, nothing really special.  I mean, they were pleasant, it wasn’t all sloppy or anything, but there wasn’t that charge, ya know?  The last time we went out, we went to the movies, and he grabbed my hand when we were in the parking lot leaving.  It was awkward – like he’d been waiting to do that the whole time, and was just scared to.  This bothers me. 

Sex is very important to me, and so is sexual compatibility.  I’ve had a boyfriend whose sex drive didn’t match mine, and it sucked.  I’d be ready to go, and he’d suggest cuddling.  Ouch.  I like a man to take charge, dammit!  What if this is just what he’s like, and it isn’t ever going to change?  I mean, can you imagine getting down and dirty with someone who’s afraid to hold your hand in public? Am I being too harsh?  Do you think it’s just because I’ve kept things so non-sexual?  What should I do about this???  This is so different from my other experiences, so I don’t know if this is normal.   I’m such a weirdo.

I also had lunch with a younger guy (24) one day last week.  We’d chatted quite a bit on IM, and he got a lot of my obscure references, so I figured he’d be cool.  Things were good at first, but I knew we weren’t going to be more than friends after a few minutes.  He came off as pretty arrogant, which, yeah, not cool.  However, this sealed his fate – he was talking about something and said, “it’s just so gay.”  I told him that I absolutely hate it when people use the word gay like that.  He asked why, so I told him, “because you’re using the word in a derogatory way, like there’s something wrong with being gay.”  This little son of a bitch actually said, “It is.  It’s morally reprehensible.”  Can you believe that shit?!  I told him I completely disagreed and left shortly thereafter.  What a fucking moron.

So, that’s what’s going on.  The ol’ dating game is lackluster at best.  I have found a few new people to chat with, and got a surprise FB request from a fellow blogger’s buddy who told her I was cute.  He seems to be a pretty cool dude, and hopefully I can get together with them next time I’m in the big city, seems like it would be fun times.  (HEY MAN!  You just got a shoutout!  You could even comment sometime if you wanted to.  Ba-zing!)

11 Responses to “The Dating Game”

  1. 1 Karen August 24, 2009 at 6:53 am

    I don’t like guys who are too nice either. I am not THAT nice and I don’t want to feel like the bad guy all the time – like I could walk all over him. Plus guys that are too nice are just boring.

    I say that if there is no spark, you should move on.

  2. 2 Ms. Moon August 24, 2009 at 12:43 pm

    I don’t know. I have a different perspective. I thought Mr. Moon was too nice AND too happy when I met him. It was like, “What the hell is wrong with this guy?”
    But I have to say, he was not afraid to hold my hand. Or anything else, either.
    And that dipwad you met? The 24-year old?

  3. 3 Ron August 24, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    So what I’m picking up on is that women want to meet assholes… I’ve speculated on that theory before, but everyone denies it.

  4. 4 The Dish August 24, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    Honey, if there is no spark, then there is no spark. He can be the nicest guy or the biggest asshole in the universe. If you are being non-sexual and don’t feel like ripping his clothes off at this point, then it is time to move on. It did make me smile that you said he is smitten. Smart man! 😉

  5. 5 Ba-zing August 24, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    Sounds like Nikki Six and Tropic Thunder are much more exciting, then again I could be wrong. I do have to agree with The Dish as far as the nice guy thing goes. I do think that when it comes to the game of dating you kind of have to be picky as to what you want. If your not into the super nice guy there is nothing wrong with that and then again the super nice guy could be a good thing, but a little more excitement goes a long way.

  6. 6 Aunt Becky August 24, 2009 at 7:05 pm


    I hate dating.

  7. 7 gingermagnolia August 24, 2009 at 7:48 pm

    Karen – I am just really afraid that I’m gonna end up hurting this guy.

    Ms. Moon – I think I’m gonna give him a little longer, but yeah, the other dude – no way, Jose.

    Ron – That was kind of a shitty thing to say. There’s a difference in wanting someone to treat you like shit and wanting someone who can take charge. Plus, I’m trying to make sure that *I’m* not being an asshole to him, ya see?

    The Dish – See, this is kind of how I felt about Fireman until we had gotten a leetle bit physical, so I am kind of thinking I should give him some more time. Dunno.

    Ba-zing – LMFAO first of all… The super nice guy is probably exactly what I need right now, which is why I’m reticent to write him off. However, yeah, excitement is good.

    Aunt Becky – Me, too.

  8. 8 Vinomom August 24, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    Heres my take: If you are having a good time with the guy, don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable, then keep seeing him until it comes to that point. I believe chemistry can be a sneaky thing. I was best friends with my HS boyfriend for nearly two years before I could see him that way. But when I finally did, it was amazing.

    Of course, if it at anytime becomes something that is NOT enjoyable for you, then bag it.

  9. 9 BigLittleWolf August 25, 2009 at 10:00 am

    If the guy’s going to be hurt, he’s going to be hurt. Just like you’ve been hurt when you like somebody and he doesn’t feel quite the same way. Whenever there’s an imbalance in “liking,” that’s inevitable. It’s just DATING. It’s just life.

    But hey – I’m a little late to this party, and I don’t have a crystal ball.

    Still, it sounds like you aren’t quite sure yet which way things will go with this guy.

    And by the way, a man who “takes charge” (in some ways) is not necessarily an asshole. Hot in bed and nice guy are NOT mutually exclusive! And sometimes, the ones who are reading your reticence (and hesitating, even in taking your hand), are just being respectful. There may be plenty of Drillbit just waiting for the opportunity to do a little work on your walls.

    No spark? REALLY no spark? And you know it? That’s a different story entirely. But if you’ve been honest with the guy, and you enjoy hanging with him, then hang with him until you don’t want to anymore.

  10. 10 lola August 25, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    Well, holding back and not ripping his clothes off is different than not wanting to rip his clothes off at all. If it’s the latter, then later for you Drillbit 😉

  1. 1 Almost Slipped in Indianapolis « Names Have Been Changed….. Trackback on March 2, 2010 at 8:16 pm

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