The Answers To All Your Burning Questions

Well, I asked for it, right?  Here are the questions y’all asked, along with my answers.  I think Ron takes the cake for the weirdest questions this time…


Ms. Moon asked –  “Okay- here goes- what is the meaning of life? I think maybe Sr. Fussypants was telling us but I don’t speak his language. “ 

Well, that’s easy!  SHA, right, and monkeys might fly outta my butt!  I don’t know nothin’ about nothin’, but if I were to share my personal philosophy, I would say that the meaning of life is to be as kind as you can to everyone you come into contact with.  Now, let’s gather ’round the campfire and sing Kumbaya whilst wearing our Birkenstocks and hemp clothing.

Ron asked two questions – “You are locked in a small room. All you have are some jumper cables, a dozen gerbils, a bottle of wine and 2 bottles of caffeine pills. How would you use these tools to escape from the room? “

First, I would make sure I had MacGruber with me…

(The video won’t embed, but if you don’t know who MacGruber is, go here. )

Because who DOESN’T want him around in a crisis?  Then, I’d drink the wine, give the caffeine pills to the gerbils, and send them off with instructions to bring back help.  You know, because they’d be small enough to slip under the door.  If that didn’t work, I’d use the metal part of the jumper cables to beat my way through the (wooden) door.  If I wasn’t able to get out, I’d probably grab MacGruber by the mullet and do dirty things with him to pass the time until my gerbil army found help.

Ron’s second question – “If you were to live too close to a Nuclear power plant and become mutated, what kind of mutation would you rather have? A mutation that was not visible and caused you pain or on that was clearly visible, but caused no pain.”

Do I get to choose what my mutation is?  If it were ginormous boobs, then I would say hell yeah, bring it on!  In either case, I’d probably go with no pain.

The Dish asked:  “If you could pick the most important trait in the perfect mate, what would it be?”

Immediately, my reaction is to say attraction.  I think that’s not quite it, though.  It most definitely  would have to be a great sense of humor.  Laughter causes attraction.  I could be with the hottest man ever, but if he can’t make me laugh, he won’t get too far.

Evil Twin’s Wife asked – “What is your favorite color? If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you be? “

My favorite color is red, the color of passion!  If I were choosing a place that I’ve been before, it would be Texas…probably Austin.  If it were somewhere I’ve never been, I would choose somewhere in Italy.  I’ve always wanted to go there, but since I’ve never been, I don’t know if I’d like living there.

Vinomom asked – “Where did you grow up, and how far from there do you live now? If it is far, how did you end up there?”

I grew up in a small town north of Houston called New Caney.  Now I live in South Bend, Indiana, and according to an online map search, from the house I live in now to the house I grew up in is 1128.40 miles.  I got here in a very roundabout way.  Here goes the explanation…

I moved away from Texas when I was 18.  I was an Army wife for 10 years, and moved from Texas to Georgia, to Hawaii, to Louisiana, and back to Georgia.  Georgia is where I got divorced, and since Douche and I had never bought a house (too many moves), I didn’t have anywhere to live.  My mom and younger sister had moved to South Bend in 2000 because this is where my mom’s husband lived (they met online, knew each other for two years before Mom and sis moved).  My choices for living arrangements after the divorce were to either move in with my mom and step-dad, or to move in with my dad and step-mom (who I lovingly liken to Cruella Deville).  I chose what I thought was the lesser of two evils.  Having been away from my parents for so long, it’s been a huge adjustment for all of us.

Karen asked – “What is a thing about each of your boys that makes them special? What colors do you lean toward when you get a pedicure? How do you feel about Michelle Obama wearing shorts on Air Force One? (The current news story on my TV).”

The most special thing about Big J is that even at 13, he’s still a Mama’s boy.  He’ll still let me hug him and even occasionally kiss him on the cheek!  Also, he’s done pretty well at teaching himself to play the guitar, and he’s amazing on the football or baseball field.

Little J is the funniest damn kid ever.  The child has got timing!  He regularly makes Big J and me laugh till we cry.  He, too, is a Mama’s boy, and lets me love on him a lot still.

When I get pedicures (more likely, giving myself one), I usually stick with bright pink or lavender in the spring/summer and deep red in the winter.  I have super pale skin, so it’s hard to get away with pale colors.

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that she wore shorts on Air Force One.  It’s just more proof that she is down-to-earth, in my opinion.

Lola asked – “Um, if you, say, won a contest on someone’s blog, what might you wish to be your prize (within reason, of course)?”

One meeeeellion dollars!  Or, you could send me something erotic, due to the nature of the contest.  I’d even blog about it!  😛


Okay, that was fun (except for all the link-age).  If anyone has anymore questions, the floor is still open!

7 Responses to “The Answers To All Your Burning Questions”

  1. 2 Ron August 21, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Great answers… you did pretty well, but you forgot to keep one of the gerbils and have the threat of getting clamped with the jumper cables inspire the others to come back quickly.

  2. 3 The Dish August 21, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    Love it! I may have to do one.

  3. 4 Vinomom August 22, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    I was totally like “I don’t remember a question post!” then I got quoted in it, proof that I read it. When I saw the question I remembered typing it. Too much wine. Good Post! I love Q&A

  4. 5 lola August 23, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    Ooh, e-mail me your address, and I’ll gladly send you something erotic. I might have to blog about that, too!!!

  5. 6 gingermagnolia August 24, 2009 at 7:48 am

    Thanks, guys, this was fun…and Lola, it’s been sent. Can’t wait to see what you send, hee, hee.

  6. 7 MindyMom/Single Mom Says... August 25, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    Okay, I have to admit I haven’t visited here in a while (bad blogger) but I think I just got caught up pretty well. This post cracked me up and I laughed out loud. That doesn’t happen very often so thanks. And Austin is great; I lived there for almost 2 yrs and loved it but now that I’m in CO I’d probalby die from the humidity and bugs since we really have neither here.

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