Archive for February, 2009

It’s Friday, I’m In Love

Sorry for the non-post yesterday, I had extra stuff to do on campus, then had to drive across town to pick up Big J from school, then came home and crashed.  I was so tired, and was able to sleep for about an hour and a half before getting up to cook dinner.

I had the chance to see my Wonder Twin last night, so once the boys were tucked in (grandparents were here), I headed off to his house.  His roomie was out on a date, so we had the place to ourselves (except for two little sleeping girls).  We popped in a movie and cuddled up on the couch, all sweet and comfy.  We even managed some sexay time…SCORE!  We eventually made our way back to the couch and popped in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, which may be the funniest move EVA.  By this time, though, we were both sleepy.  We grabbed a blanky and got all cozy after setting the phone alarm for an hour.  I love sleeping next to him.  Honestly, I love doing anything with him, but it’s so peaceful and just RIGHT.  Hard to explain it any other way, other than right now, in this moment, I am completely in love.

Tomorrow night is trivia night, which is a big thing once a year at the Fraternal Order of Police.  This means I get to hang out all night with Bekki and Mel and be a smarty pants dork.  Plus, they have a bar!  My parents may be going out of town to visit my step-brother at his college tomorrow night, and the boys may be spending the night with friends, so there MAY be a chance for Wonder Twin Saturday, as well, if all the cards fall into place.  Cross your fingers, babies, because that would be swell.  Off to read all of your blogs now.  Smoochies!

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All Loved Up

There’s not much going on today.  Of course I had a great time last night with my Wonder Twin.  We watched Wall-E (I hadn’t seen it) curled up on the couch.  He is oh so snuggly and comfortable.  I was blinking to keep myself awake towards the end, but I saw the last bit.  It was a very sweet movie, and I laughed my ass off when Wall-E couldn’t figure out where to put the spork!

We had some adult fun and I fell asleep curled up in his arms.  I love that.  I love him.  Love, love, love, love, love, and so on and so forth.  It was sad when he had to go home, neither one of us wanted to move.  I reminded him that we have to be strong, we’ll be okay.  Oh yeah, and he referred to me as the love of his life today.  (SQUEEEEEEEEEE!)

On another note, I have been very popular with The Crazy One for the past week or so.  This teenage girl is doing a number on him, and who does he turn to?  Me, of course.  Grrr.  It’s not that I mind trying to help him, but he is being so frustrating.  He keeps forwarding me texts she sends him and asking me what I think.  I keep telling him I think she is fucking with him and he needs to get away from her, for many reasons.  Monday, he told me that someone at his job found out that they were dating (it’s not allowed, of course) and that he was in big trouble.  When I asked how they found out, he said that someone saw pictures of them kissing on his MySpace.  Good lord, are you serious?!  I can’t even feel sorry for him on that one, he did it to himself.  He asked me to go in and delete his page since he was at work.  So, I did, and I checked out this girl’s page while I was at it.  She had pictures of herself kissing another man in her photos.  This is a man who couldn’t even accept me going to class with men…

Anywhoooo, last night he sent me a whole bunch of texts about a fight he had with her, having to do with his son (you remember that kid, right?  The one who said “eat me” to me once?) and his ex-wife.  I guess the girl was at his house last night and the ex came in to pick up the kid, and every other word out of her mouth was “fuck.”  She’s a classy broad like that.  Then after the ex and the kid left, the girl was telling him her parents wouldn’t approve of him, and she could do better, etc.  So I tell him she’s a bitch, and he needs to get over it (again), and turn my phone off for Wonder Twin Tuesday. 

Today, he asked me stuff about pregnancy, and how a girl would know she was pregnant.  Oh lord, seriously?!  So, I tell him to get her to take a test.  They are cheap, and you can find out within five minutes.  So, I guess he told her that and she sent him a text telling him he should buy it, since he’s the dumb fuck who didn’t use protection.  While I kind of have to agree with her…she wasn’t the only person there.  So I “yelled” at him for not wearing protection and asked him how many times they had had sex without it.  He said three, which I’m guessing means more like 6.  I told him he needs to go buy a test, have her take it, and walk away.  My money is on him not doing it, though.  So frustruating!  I told him I want to help him, but I can only tell him so many times this girl is bad news.  So is he, so whateva.  Drama, drama, drama!

Back to happy.  Since I didn’t post any music yesterday, I suppose I will today.  This is Meiko’s “Reasons to Love You.”  This is another album that I can listen to in it’s entirety.  I also love her song “How Lucky We Are.”  It’s just mellow music for mellow times.

Insert Title Here

Today should have been Totally Music Tuesday, but something else needs to be said instead. 

One of my favorite people ever hasn’t been around much lately.  They’re busy, I’m busy, yada, yada, yada.  However, even with all of the changes going on, I feel as though I have been supportive, even when I didn’t feel they were doing the right thing.  If you don’t ask for my advice, I’m not likely to give it to you.  I will be happy for you when you’re happy, no matter what it is that makes you so…no matter how absurd the situation.

When all of these good things happened this weekend, I didn’t even think to call this person.  I find that very telling.  I didn’t even realize it until yesterday, and sent a text just saying WT and I are a couple!  How did they respond?  “I’m so happy for you?”  “I knew it?”  No, it was, “but I liked the fireman!”  Um, ok.  First off, you don’t know either of these people, you only know what I’ve told you.  Secondly, would it KILL you to be excited for me?  To say “way to go” or something?  In the last few months, there have been many times when you did things that other people may have told you were impulsive or even dare I say…crazy.  But *I* didn’t, and I wouldn’t.  Because I love you, and I support you whatever you are doing to make yourself happy.  I will smile right along with you.  Is it too much to expect the same?

There were other comments througout this “conversation” that hurt.  All of them focused on the Fireman.  I tried to explain that yes, he was a great guy…but I am in love with WT.  I was before I started seeing TF.  WT is an amazing man, and I don’t know why this person can’t or won’t see that.  He’s never hurt me or even disappointed me, so I don’t get the animosity.  I know my friend loves me, and that they think they’re looking out for me, but inadvertantly they hurt me pretty bad.  We’ll be okay, just had to get that out.  I love you.

P.S. I Have a Boyfriend

I am very behind with my schoolwork right now.  I have a research paper (5-10 pages) due on Wednesday, and I have barely started.  I have reading to catch up for my Literary Interpretation class, and stupid modules I have to work through in my online classes.  And yet…and yet, I am so flippin’ happy right now!

Yes, I did feel like an asshole after letting the Fireman in on the scoop, but moreover, I felt so at peace and content knowing that WT was mine all mine.  (Just for the record, I knew he was, even if he didn’t).  All day long I was calling him my boyfriend.  “Oh, hey boyfriend.  What’s up?,”  “P.S. I have a boyfriend,” “I miss my boyfriend,” you get the picture.  I think I’m still in shock that a man who was so dedicated to being completely free and single for so long wanted to have a girlfriend.  He likes to tell me it’s my voodoo magic.  Perhaps.

Of course, I told my girls here (Beks and Mel) about the turn of events, and they insisted that NOW they have to meet him.  It’ll be hard to find a time when we are all available, but I want them to get to know him.  Even if Bekki wasn’t so sure.  She asked me what would happen if he hates her and she has to stab him in the eye with a fork.  I assured her that he would love her, because I do, and because he loves me, and also because she is just that awesome.  Then she asked what would happen if he loves her so much that he can’t resist her and threw her down on the floor and started making sweet, sweet love to her.  I told her if that happened, I would have to clock him with a rolling pin and drag him away (like the hen on the Looney Toons cartoons).  And that is just a small sampling of why I love Bekki so much.  She is completely random, and gets that I am, too.  When I told Mel some of the things that he had said, she said she loves him already.  I think they just want to make sure he’s good enough for me.  He is…infinitely good.

I even cried happy tears last night when I got this message, “I love you with all that I am and all I want to be for you.”  I was telling Honey one day that he is all of the good qualities in everyone I’ve ever loved, combined into one person.  The playfulness, the humor, the sweetness, the honesty and openness, the prowess in the bedroom, the love.  He has it all.  There are so many moments when I think, and THAT’S why I love him.  The reasons are different, and there are millions upon millions.

I am so in love, and so very happy.

P.S.  I have a boyfriend.

Ginger’s Got A Boyfriend

First, let me just say SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! (In the words of the fabulous Penelope).  Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I have something so very wonderful to tell you.  Are you listening?  Are you reaaaaally listening?  Good.  I love it when you give me your undivided attention.

So, you know that yesterday I spent most of the day in bed with my Wonder Twin, and it was beyond wonderful.  You also know that I love him and have for a while, but that we weren’t specifically a couple.  I have been calling him my non-boyfriend for a while because of this.  I even told him last week that for a non-boyfriend, he is the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.  He’s sweet and kind, and not just when someone’s looking.  He’s very comforting to me, whether we are just talking through IM or text, or curled up on the couch laughing at a movie.  He is such a great daddy, and one of the most adorable things about him…he has his daughter’s drawings pinned up all over the walls in his bedroom, and even has a favorite.  Did you say “aww” just now?  Thought so. 

Well, last night we were texting and he asked what I was up to.  I told him I was goofing off online and missing my non-boyfriend.  Turns out the “non” part was up for discussion.  I was shocked, but asked what had changed.  He said that he didn’t want to be with anyone else, and that had become abundantly clear to him while we were together yesterday.  He said that he saw how much I loved him, and wasn’t afraid anymore.  Time for another “aww”… I’ll wait.  I was beyond thrilled by this revalation, as you can imagine.  Our relationship status was made official this morning when he asked me if I would be his girlfriend.  DUH!  So, Ginger’s got herself a boyfriend.  A real, official, totally amazing boyfriend.

I had already decided last week to tell the Fireman that I couldn’t have a physical relationship with him.  There was no way I could handle that when I was in love with WT.  Now the discussion had to change to asking whether we could go back to just being friends again.  It went very well, considering it was the first time I had ever had to break things off with someone, no matter how casual it was.  I told him that I had to see where things were going with WT without complicating things further, but that I did still want to know him as a friend.  I tried to make it clear that it had nothing to do with him in any way.  If I hadn’t found my Wonder Twin (see also:  possible soul twin), I would have been all over this guy.  I felt like a jerk for it anyhow.  He responded well, as I knew he would.  He admitted that he had very strong feelings for me (I knew this, which was why I felt so guilty), but that he would be my friend if that’s what I wanted.  Once that was done, I felt relieved.

I am so excited right now.  Excited for today, excited for now, excited for us.

Naked Saturday

I know I’ve been saying this all week, but wow, what a day.  My sister came over this morning to babysit the boys so I could go over to the Wonder Twin’s house for a while.  He had just gotten off of one job, and had until 3 before he had to be at his other job, so as soon as she got here, I headed out.  Unfortunately, it snowed all night and morning, and the roads were slick and gross, so it was slow going and I didn’t make it to my destination until about 10.  😦

As soon as I walked in the door, clothes were shed and we spent all day in bed.  I wish every Saturday was Naked Saturday.  It was the first time we were really “all alone.”  When he comes here, the house is full, even if everyone is eventually asleep.  There’s always the “hush” factor.  Not so today, and that was all kinds of awesome.  It went by too fast, though.  There are never enough hours, minutes, or seconds when I am with him.  It’s all laughs and love. 

We were able to take a little nap, and it so cozy and cuddly and comfortable.  I love this man so much, it’s riDONKulous.  I left at about 2 to come home, and my sister and mom went out shopping.  BIL ended up coming over for dinner, and they just left about an hour ago.  It was nice to see them both, and I got to feel my nephew rolling around in her belly!  I can’t wait to meet the little guy (although, I’m sure he won’t be so little).  There are some more things I have to tell you, but I think that has to wait until tomorrow.  One weird thing that happened today is that Douche’s half-sister (from his biological father) added me on MySpace, and sent me a message saying that she was trying to get to know her extended family without her father in the picture.  Can you say WEIRD?  The brothers and the sister don’t know each other, yet in two days, they have both messaged me.  O.D.D.

I have been listening to tons of music lately, and most of it introduced to me by my Wonder Twin.  He has super great taste in music as well as lovahs, natch.  I just wanted to share “our song,” since I love it so.  It’s called “Afterglow,” and it’s by Schuyler Fisk.  (Fun fact:  she is Sissy Spacek’s daughter and also an actress.)  Seriously, I have played this song on repeat for days.  The entire album is amazing, this girl is such a great songwriter and her voice is beautiful.  It is rare that I like every song on an album, but this one is da bomb diggity.  Enjoy!

Curious-er and Curious-er

As soon as I finished writing yesterday’s post, I passed out cold.  I was so completely exhausted, I fell right to sleep.  Then I woke up four hours later, wide awake.  I think I was awake for about 2 hours, then was able to sleep for about an hour and a half more before it was time to get up with the boys.  I figured I would come home, shower, and then sleep until I had to leave for campus.

Not so, it seemed.  I had just finished drying my hair, and figured I would check out a couple of blogs before I went back to dreamland.  I always have Facebook open, and I had a friend request.  At first, I wasn’t sure who it was, because it wasn’t a real name.  I knew the email address, though.  It was Douche’s half-brother.  This is kind of a long story, so I’ll give you the shortest version possible, and hopefully it won’t confuse you too much.

Douche was taken away from his birth parents when he was a toddler.  Basically, SOMEONE beat him severely, with both parents pointing the finger at the other.  His father’s brother stepped up and adopted him after he had been in protective custody for a few months.  So, he grew up thinking his uncle was his dad and his dad was his uncle.  His birth mother came to visit him a few times, but stopped before he grew out of toddler-hood.  He had an older half-brother, and eventually, two younger half-brothers.  He didn’t know he was adopted until he was 13, when his grandmother slipped up one day.  Most of the rest of his family knew, like his cousins who were his age and stuff.  After this, he only knew that he had an older brother.  When he was 16 and I was 14, he went to summer church camp with me.  It was with my friend, Anna’s church, and there was a man from her church who knew Douche’s biological parents and his adopted parents, and that his younger half-brothers were there at the same camp.  This man introduced them to each other.  It was strange, not only because they had never met each other, but because Douche didn’t even know he HAD younger brothers.  The older of the two was about 11 or 12, and the younger one was only about 8.  One had similar mannerisms and the other one had his eyes.  It was so weird.  He hadn’t even told me he was adopted until then. 

Anyhow, they kind of got to know each other that week (as much as they could, anyway), and when we all went home, Douche’s birth mother started calling a little wanting to “get to know him.”  He wasn’t ready for that, and his adopted mother tried to protect him as much as she could.  The birth mother only called a few times before disappearing again. 

Cut to 2001, we are getting ready to move away to Hawaii for three years.  I was curious about his biological family (Little J was a baby at the time), and wanted to know more about them, so I encouraged Douche to try and contact them before we moved an ocean away.  He found out where they were living and a phone number, and made the call.  We ended up going to his biological mother’s apartment to visit, and all of his half brothers were there.  They were all crazy about the boys, and kept saying how much the baby looked like Douche (he does).  It was a little strange because the mother kept wanting Douche to call her “Mom” and the boys to call her “Grandma.”  At first meeting. 

Then we moved away, and I kept in touch with the mother through mail and occasional phone calls.  Douche never really dealt with her, and it got weird.  That’s the only way I can describe it.  She wanted us to be best buddies.  It escalated more and more, and it became clear that this woman was unwell.  So, I slowly disconnected.  We moved and I didn’t tell her our new phone number, just our address.  Then the next time we moved, I didn’t even give her the address.  This didn’t seem to concern Douche in the least.  He never made any more efforts with his biological family, and I didn’t push.  I had always liked his brothers, though, and felt like they should know their nephews.  No matter what the mother did, it wasn’t their fault.

Once I got onto MySpace, I looked them up, but only found the youngest brother.  He’s been my buddy there ever since.  He’s in the Marines, and seems to have his stuff together.  BUT, he and his mother are extremely co-dependent.  She controls him completely, and it’s gotten so bad that they have alienated the other brothers. 

This morning, when I figured out who it was (it was the older of the two younger brothers), I started chatting with him.  He was trying to find Douche.  Basically, he is longing for a sense of family.  He wants to know ALL of his brothers, and his nephews.  I told him about the split, and gave him Douche’s phone number and email address, and told him I couldn’t promise that Douche would respond, but it was worth a shot.  We actually chatted for about an hour and a half.  I found out that he had gotten married and had two daughters, and that he was working and going to school.  I told him that I considered him family, and that I wanted him to know the boys as much as he could.  We planned to meet up with all the kids next time the boys and I are in Texas, and promised to stay in touch. 

I can’t imagine what it would be like if I didn’t have my sisters.  How horrible would that be?  To have such a big family, but not know anything about them.  He didn’t know that his youngest brother was in Kuwait, or that Douche would soon be going to Afghanistan.  He is scared that he’ll never get a chance to know them.  We promised to keep in touch, and I sincerely hope that Douche will give him a chance.  There’s no reason not to, but…he’s a douche, so you never know.

Wow, this is turning into quite the lengthy post.  Sorry about that!  Tonight, I went to get a pedicure with Bekki.  Not just any pedicure, though.  She and her mother-in-law go every month to this nail salon where they lock the doors for a few customers (I think there were a total of 6), and serve wine and play music and pretty much just let loose.  It was SO. MUCH. FUN!  I always have a blast with Beks, and this was no exception.  I mean, I got pampered AND got to see my BFF?  How cool is THAT?!  The best part was when everyone was done.  One of the owners was a gay guy, and he had been pouring wine the entire time, arguing with us over shape vs. width, and shakin’ his ass to the music.  Well, by the time we were paying for our pedis, he and one of the girls started dancing in the window like it was the red light district or something.  Fuckin’ hilarious!  I’m gonna try to make this a regular thing, not just because I like pedicures a lot (I do), but because I don’t get to see Beks enough, nor do I get out of the house for girl time enough.  We were talking about how fun it would be to have a slumber party with our girlfriends.  We tried to do that at the beginning of last summer, but it kind of got messed up.

Tomorrow morning, my sister is coming over to watch the boys for me so I can spend at least part of the day with my Wonder Twin.  His roomie is out of town this weekend, so we will have the house to ourselves, and I can NOT wait to just be with him.  Oh, and shag him rotten, of course.  Mustn’t forget that.  There will be lots of that.  Also, lots of snuggling. 

I kind of feel like I need to clarify something, not because your comments offended me in any way (they didn’t), but because I feel like maybe I wasn’t clear enough about the situation.  It isn’t that I want more from WT.  That’s not it at all.  The confusion I’m feeling is about whether or not I want to date anyone more than him right now, and whether I can handle dating more than one person at a time.  It seemed from the comments that y’all thought he wasn’t giving me what I wanted or needed, and that isn’t the case.  He makes me super happy, and still has yet to disappoint me.  I’m just trying to figure out what I need and want for me.  Make sense?  I hope so!

Okay, babies, I’m exhausted as I STILL haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep, so I’ll catch y’all on the flip side.