Riddle Me This

Last night, I was feeling pretty okay by the time the boys went to bed. I had talked to my besties, they had had good Christmases. In the last few days in talking to both Nova and Honeywine, we have wondered why it is that WE are so very awesome and yet, unlucky in love.

The conclusion we came to was that we must need to be conceited jerks in order to let our awesomeness be known. I mean, it certainly seems that those are the types of people who get what they want from others. Am I right?

Definitely, I am a great person. Fun to be around, loving, and kind. I am loyal to a fault, usually my own fault (heh), and am great at knowing what another person needs, the right words to say, the appropriate action to take. Yet, for all of this, I’ve been taken advantage of again and again. By both women and men, yet it’s easier for me to let go of the women who hurt me.

As I was getting ready to turn in for the night, only waiting to hear about Honeywine’s day and let her know I was okay (there was an emergency call to her after the Douche incident last night), when I got a text from The Crazy One. I had thought that I’d wish him a Merry Christmas yesterday morning, but had forgotten. I asked him how his Christmas was, and if his son had a good day. What I got back stunned me. If you remember, when we broke up, I told him he was making a huge mistake and would never know anyone as good as me again. Turns out, I was right. Imagine that!

You know, he lamented about how he was so stupid, how he really fucked everything up, how his life has been crap without me in it. How I was the only person he’d ever met who was so optimistic, he couldn’t help but feel that way, too. How he misses me all the time, and is reminded of me and all the fun we had by all kinds of things. You don’t say. At first, my ego felt good that he finally understood it. I haven’t been thinking about him. I haven’t missed him in a long time. I let him go a long time ago.

Then, I got pissed off. Why is it that people can’t see what’s right in front of their faces? Lord Swank, I’m looking at YOU. Right now I just want to shake you and yell that you are fucking this up! I deserve so much more than what I’m getting right now. Both Douche and now The Crazy One have realized that they screwed up, that they were stupid, and that I am worth having around.

I am a great partner to have. I am always there for you, I’m loyal (it’s a curse, I think), I’m honest, I’m fun, I even like “guy” movies. I’m flippin’ amazing in bed. I’m a nice girl who can get along with anyone…your family, your friends, your boss at work. I can fit in anywhere, I’m adaptable. I can be just as comfortable in a fancy dress with snooty folks as I am in jeans in a trailer park. Apparently my problem is that I don’t play games with guys. If I feel something for you, I tell you. If I’m mad at you, I tell you. I don’t bullshit around. There’s no guessing with me. It’s all laid out on the table, and I have no poker face.

So, I’m left shaking my head, wondering why no one ever sees these things until it’s too late.

5 Responses to “Riddle Me This”


  1. 1 Ron December 26, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    I hear what you’re saying. I’ve said it on my blog many times that it seems like only the assholes seem to get what they want in life. If only I could work up the drive to bitch slap some women and call them bitches then they might feel some attraction to me. Crap… I just don’t like to do that stuff so I guess I’m screwed.

  2. 2 honeywine December 26, 2008 at 11:27 pm

    I’m with Ron. Let’s bitch slap ’em. He might not be able to get into it…but I SO WILL! *crazy evil eyes*

  3. 3 lola December 27, 2008 at 3:05 am

    Hmmm…

    I like the smack ’em around idea. I don’t know what else to tell you, except that I believe that the words a much older, wiser woman told me many years ago still ring true: Never let them know that you love them until you know they love you; always let them think that you need them less than they need you, unless it’s to open a jar or carry something heavy; and make sure to be too busy sometimes when they want to spend time with you, even if you’re just staying home to wash your hair.

    I’ve heard advice that is the exact opposite, but all the great relationships I know have had that dynamic going on.

  4. 4 gingermagnolia December 27, 2008 at 3:11 am

    Ron – I am SO SICK of assholes getting what they want!

    Honey – Yeah, let’s just start smackin’ bitches.

    Lola – I’m so mad at myself. This was the only time I’ve ever been the one to say “I love you” first. I should have known better.

  5. 5 lola December 30, 2008 at 12:31 am

    Ahh, these things happen. Please don’t waste time being mad at yourself. He’s the ass in this equation!


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