Archive for October, 2008


Happy Halloween, y’all!  Luckily, it’s supposed to be warm(er) tonight, so yay for trick-or-treating!  I didn’t put much thought into my costume this year, so I’m just going to put on jeans, boots, a flannel shirt and a cowboy hat and be a hick.  Yuk, yuk.  Maybe I’ll even take a picture.  Have fun tonight, stay safe!

New Kind of Fun

So, I told y’all Honeywine got me into the whole myyearbook thing?  Well…I have certainly gotten lots of attention from it!  Last night alone, I was messaging 4 different people at once.  Here’s a run down on the studs in the stable, as it were:

First of all there’s Big Daddy.  So called because he has money and he’s sweet like a big teddy bear.  He’s not my usual type, but that’s probably a very good thing.  The biggest problem is that he lives in Indianapolis, but that’s not deterring him any.  We have a date next Saturday, he’s driving the 2 1/2 hours to meet me.  Pretty cool, huh?  A guy with a good job, no kids, no ex-wives…yeah, I’m really hoping it’s not too good to be true.

Next, there’s The Musician.  He lives in a nearby city, and is still in the “friends” category.  Not sure if I want to actually date him yet.  He’s nice and we have a lot in common, but he has two young boys and an ex-wife nearby…

Then, there’s Tex, who lives all the way down in Texas.  We’ve talked on the phone a couple of times and text back and forth.  He’s a lot of fun, but let’s just say it’s probably a good thing he’s not close by.  And by good, I mean good because I wouldn’t be able to deny the temptation with that one.  Yes, he’s that hot.

Lastly, there’s Catholic Boy, who lives in the same town.  Just started talking to him yesterday, but we talked for a long time.  He just got divorced after only one year of marriage, no kids.  Seems pretty cool.  He used to be a soldier, and was even stationed at one of the same bases I used to live at.  He asked if we could go out sometime, I said sure, why not.  Just have to get over this cough first! 

I’m excited to be getting back out there, but of course I’m also a little trepidatious.  It’s like I’m just waiting for the preverbial skeleton to come out of the closet.  Trying to stay positive right now, and so far I’m having lots of fun “meeting” new people.  Lots of fun with some of them…if you know what I mean.   ; )

Totally Music Tuesday

I figured since I don’t have much to say today I’d just put up some music.  Maybe I’ll make it a regular thing…who knows?  By the way, I have bronchitis.  Yay.

Here it is, the kickass song of the week.  AC/DC’s If You Want Blood brought to you by Empire Records.  I love that movie.  Rock out with your cock out…or put a badge on your vag?


I’m really getting tired of being sick.  It’s been a week now, and I don’t feel any better than I did the first day.  I think I’m going to have to break down and go to the doctor tomorrow.  This morning, I got all my things together for class, but after the first one, I couldn’t take three more hours.  So, I came home and slept.  And slept.  And slept.  I slept for over three hours, and when I woke up I thought it was 2 am. 

Even though I hated to miss class, I didn’t think I was missing anything too important.  Then I checked my class stuff online.  Crap.  I was supposed to do an online quiz by 5:00 today.  I remembered at 5:30.  D’oh!  There’s nothing I can do about it now, but sheesh! 

Now I’m off to do the glamorous chore of laundry.  Aren’t you jealous of my amazing life?

Dream Lover

Last night, I had a sexy dream.  It’s not often that I have those, and when I do, they have always been about someone I knew in real life.  Not this time, though.  This time it was an actor.  A totally hot, gorgeous actor named Patrick Wilson

I’ve seen him in two movies, Hard Candy and Little Children.  Apparently, he’s done tons of Broadway and other movies, too.  There’s just something about this guy that screams “man” to me.  Like he could play football and work with tools, and get things done in the bedroom.  Wink, wink.  Those eyes, that smile, that BODY!

Here’s a montage for your viewing pleasure:

Anyhow, it was a good dream, except he told me during sex that I needed to lose 10 pounds.  Have you ever!?!  The best part was when I leapt up into his arms, which pushed him back against the wall…hmmm.  ‘Night, y’all, sweet dreams!


Leave me the fuck alone.  You were a bastard, check.  I didn’t deserve what you did to me, check.  You’re an asshole, check.  Got it.  I already knew all that.  What do you expect to get out of telling me again?  You were a bastard, so you’re going to keep being a bastard by bothering me more?  Honestly?  What the fuck?   

I’m sorry you are so stupid you won’t even look into why you keep having the same problems with relationships.  Won’t even admit that it’s a problem.  Even though you tell me that this has happened with every woman you’ve ever dated.  It’s not my problem anymore, jackass. 

And you’re not after me?  What the hell are you after, then?  Do you expect me to say it’s ok, I understand?  Do you expect me to help you with your problems?  I tried that, remember?  What did I get for it?  A whole lot of pain and heartache.  You are fucked up.  You will always be fucked up.  That’s not my fault, and it’s not my concern.  Unless you admit you have a problem, you’re doomed to repeat it over and over, and if you’re too blind to see that, even when it’s staring you right in the face?  Fuck you.  Fuck you.  Fuck you.  If you wanted me to hate you, you’re doing a damn good job.

Finally Friday

I think I found my new theme song.


Why is it all of a sudden, out of the blue, you think it would be a good idea to send me a message?  Especially one where you pretend to be concerned?  Where were you when I told you what you were doing to me?  Where were you when I wrote this?  Or this?  Where were you when I was on the floor sobbing?  Where were you when I couldn’t sleep or eat?

Oh yeah, that’s right.  You were out fucking someone else.  Trying to tell yourself that she would be better than I was, somehow.  Believing that she could love you the same way I did.  Hell, even calling her by my nickname.  Now you’re sad because it wasn’t what you thought it was.  How stupid you are.

Do NOT call me.  Do NOT text me.  Do NOT email me.  IF and when I decide to forgive you, I will let you know.  Right now I don’t want to.  I am too good a woman for this shit.

Good Times, Lots of Fun

Nothing spectacular happened today, and I’m still under the weather, so I’m just gonna tell y’all about a really fun time I had with my sister.  We are quite hilarious when we get together, at least WE think so.  I figured I’d write about the Halloween party we went to last year, it being almost Halloween and all. 

She and BIL invited me to a big house party they go to every year.  In fact, they met each other at this party.  I had just recently come out of the major depression, and was almost but not quite yet officially divorced.  The papers had all been signed, but had not been filed for some reason.  I think the judge had to have surgery or something.  I was single and looking to mingle!  The bad thing is, almost everyone they know is married.  I didn’t know that BEFORE we went.  They invited me kind of last-minute, so I didn’t have a costume or anything, and neither did they.  She and I went to the party stores around town, and bought up fake eyelashes and cat’s ears and tails. 

I had a formal dress that our aunt had given me a few years before, which was WAY over the top, I figured one of us could wear that and be Mrs. Howell or something.  It ended up with me being a sort-of cat, borrowing her leopard-print coat (so cute, but impractical) and her wearing the dress with tons of make-up.  The only thing she needed was a cigarette holder and the look would have been complete.  This is what we looked like before the party:
































We were in high spirits, and I’m pretty sure we had a few drinks before we left the house (BIL was driving).  When we got there, I knew no one, and there were TONS of people there.  I was given Jello shot after Jello shot, and only after about the fifth one, BIL told me not to take the purple ones (the ones I’d been drinking)because they had all different kinds of liquor in them.  Whoops.  They also had jungle juice.  You know, the big batch o’ kool-aid flavored goodness?  It tastes so good, and knocks you on your ass in no time flat.  We pretty much stayed to ourselves, since everyone else was paired up and/or dressed like a $2 hooker.  Here are some of the musings we remember from that night.

It’s like I always say, it’s not a Halloween party unless your va-jay-jay is hanging out.

It’s like I always say, 52 out of 18 ain’t bad.

It’s like i always say, you can’t get cheese from the moon.

It’s like I always say, fuck me once, thank you.  Fuck me four times…OUCH!

It’s like I always say, that’s the idea.

It’s like I always say, I’m not drunk, I’m just tipsy!

It’s like I always say, fuck you, WHORE!

It’s a wonder we didn’t get jumped that night.  I think that’s mostly due to the fact that we were only talking loudly enough for each other to hear.  The whore and va-jay-jay comments were directed at these two skanks who were barely dressed (it’s FREEZING here by Halloween) and asked E. what she was supposed to be, real snotty-like.  So, of course they were automatically enemies.  Makes sense, right?

Anyhow, it was a whole lot of fun, even though we were both really hungover the next day.  I haven’t drank that much since.  Man, we are awesome.


Just as I finished adding these pictures, I got a text message from you-know-who asking if I was okay.  Damn, it’s hard not to answer.

Coughing Merrily Along

Ugh.  I think I’m sick.  When I got home last night,  I had a tickle in my throat, and felt like I couldn’t clear it.  By the time I went to bed, I was coughing up a storm, and all day today I’ve had a headache and itchy throat.  GRRR!  The J’s are both feeling under the weather, too, which makes Little J act like a bear, and that ain’t fun.  On good days, he’s stubborn.  On bad days, he’s downright ornery (sp? too lazy to check). 

I was able to get some homework done this afternoon, due to the fact that the t.v. in the basement is out of commission and I couldn’t watch my dvr-ed shows (True Blood and Californication).  So, at least there’s that.  I’ve still been getting lots of attention on my webpage, and that’s making me laugh a lot.  I promise I’ll compile some of the messages on here one day for your enjoyment! 

Yesterday, when Dr. W. asked  me why I hadn’t responded to the text messages I got, I told him I was afraid to.  He asked me why, and I said the most honest thing I could, that I didn’t want to let him (and you guys) down.  I knew I should want to protect myself, and I do, but the main reason was so I didn’t get an ass-beatin’ from everyone!  So, what I’m trying to remember is the emotional roller coaster I’ve been on for the last month and a half.  I do NOT want that again, and that’s the only thing that would happen with this guy.  Things would be good for a while, and then all of a sudden not.  I have to keep reminding myself of this when thoughts of the flesh creep in.  Last night, I was thinking about how sad it was that I would never be with him in that way again (yeah, it was always awesome).  Then I remembered the past few weeks and how much he hurt me.  Why did he have to be so messed up?!  GAH!  Oh well, on to bigger and better things, right? 

Oh yeah, I got my tickets in the mail today for Willie Nelson!!!  Woohoo!  I saw him once as a child, when The Highwaymen were at the Astrodome.  I can still remember it.  I’m taking Big J with me as my date, and we’re both pretty excited.  Billy Bob Thorton’s band is opening, and I’ve heard good things about them.  If nothing else, maybe Tea Leoni will be there.  Anyone?  Any of you know what I’m talking about?

Cast of Characters

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