The boys got home on Saturday night (8/09/08 ) and I have never been more happy to see them!  I had worried all day about “the talk” Douche wanted to have with me, but as soon as I saw my babies, I knew it would be all right. 

And it was.  I happened to walk by the front window and caught a glimpse of my oldest out in the driveway, so I ran out like a madwoman to reclaim my children.  While Douche got their suitcases out of the truck, I squeezed my son who is now as tall as I am (he is only 12 and is 5’7″), and then my smaller (but taller than he was) son in turn.  C*nt decided to stay in the truck with sunglasses on her face and WITH THE MOTOR RUNNING again.  You can’t help but laugh at that.  I dare you to try.

While the boys took their things inside, Douche pretty much just said everything that he had said on the phone earlier.  So, I’m really not sure what he made a big fuss about.  I think he must have been really scared that I was going to take him to court, because he kept asking, “Are we cool?”  It was weird.  My mom had prepared enough dinner for Douche and C*nt to eat, too, and was just putting it on the table when they pulled up.  While Douche and I were talking, my mom even came out and stuck her head in the truck to ask C*nt something or other.  Not sure if she answered or said anything back.  They said they had to get back on the road, so they couldn’t stay and eat with us.  (WOOHOO! I sho ’nuff didn’t want them here!)  So they left, and we went inside.

After dinner, they walked around the neighborhood and told all of their friends hi.  They didn’t have long since it was already 8:00.  When they came home, I was talking to Big J and noticed his teeth looked dirty.  I asked him when the last time he brushed his teeth was.  He couldn’t remember!  He said that he had lost his toothbrush after he got there.  So, he was there for a month without brushing his teeth.  Little J said he hadn’t really been brushing, either.  Nice, huh?  I made them go and brush their teeth immediately.  How gross.

The next morning, the boys and I were putting away their clothes and cleaning their rooms.  While they were gone, I switched bedrooms so that they didn’t have to share a room anymore, but there were still things that they needed to help with.  Little J and I were folding and putting clothes in his drawers when he made a comment about only taking “4 or 5 baths the whole time we were there.”  HUH?  He said that his dad had told them that the water bill was really high, so they couldn’t take baths every day.  They are BOYS, one of which is going through puberty.  You can’t not let them take a bath daily!  Nasty!  Now I know why all they ever let them do was play video games and took them to the pool at the apartment so much. 

I could not believe what I was hearing.  I knew that they didn’t have beds for the boys.  I knew they would be sleeping on the (my) couch.  I didn’t know that they weren’t going to practice basic hygiene while they were there.

Douche also told the boys that he probably won’t see them again for a year and a half.  So, every time  they talk about him, they get sad.  They told me they won’t get to meet their little sister until she is almost 2 years old.  Why would you put that on kids?  They shouldn’t have to worry about things like that.

Other than living like Filthy McNasty while they were gone, they seem to have enjoyed their visit, which is good.  There was one more thing, but I don’t feel like I should talk about it here.  They are home now.  They are even CLEAN now!  School starts tomorrow, yippie skippy!  Big J and I have to attend an open house at his school tonight, where we will visit each class on his schedule.  Hopefully he will remember where some of them are when he goes in tomorrow.

3 Responses to “……”

  1. 1 honeywine August 11, 2008 at 9:31 pm

    How is Big J’s neck? Tell me you’re documenting all this crap. In most places, poor care in the home get’s Family Services on your ass. Po’ ass redneck douche!

  2. 2 apathetic bliss August 12, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    I love your descriptions of le douche and c*nt! I can so relate. Happy mamaing to you!

  3. 3 gingermagnolia August 14, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    Honey – All documented and better now. Scary shit, man.

    A.P. – They are pretty entertaining sometimes.

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