Curious-er and Curious-er

As soon as I finished writing yesterday’s post, I passed out cold.  I was so completely exhausted, I fell right to sleep.  Then I woke up four hours later, wide awake.  I think I was awake for about 2 hours, then was able to sleep for about an hour and a half more before it was time to get up with the boys.  I figured I would come home, shower, and then sleep until I had to leave for campus.

Not so, it seemed.  I had just finished drying my hair, and figured I would check out a couple of blogs before I went back to dreamland.  I always have Facebook open, and I had a friend request.  At first, I wasn’t sure who it was, because it wasn’t a real name.  I knew the email address, though.  It was Douche’s half-brother.  This is kind of a long story, so I’ll give you the shortest version possible, and hopefully it won’t confuse you too much.

Douche was taken away from his birth parents when he was a toddler.  Basically, SOMEONE beat him severely, with both parents pointing the finger at the other.  His father’s brother stepped up and adopted him after he had been in protective custody for a few months.  So, he grew up thinking his uncle was his dad and his dad was his uncle.  His birth mother came to visit him a few times, but stopped before he grew out of toddler-hood.  He had an older half-brother, and eventually, two younger half-brothers.  He didn’t know he was adopted until he was 13, when his grandmother slipped up one day.  Most of the rest of his family knew, like his cousins who were his age and stuff.  After this, he only knew that he had an older brother.  When he was 16 and I was 14, he went to summer church camp with me.  It was with my friend, Anna’s church, and there was a man from her church who knew Douche’s biological parents and his adopted parents, and that his younger half-brothers were there at the same camp.  This man introduced them to each other.  It was strange, not only because they had never met each other, but because Douche didn’t even know he HAD younger brothers.  The older of the two was about 11 or 12, and the younger one was only about 8.  One had similar mannerisms and the other one had his eyes.  It was so weird.  He hadn’t even told me he was adopted until then. 

Anyhow, they kind of got to know each other that week (as much as they could, anyway), and when we all went home, Douche’s birth mother started calling a little wanting to “get to know him.”  He wasn’t ready for that, and his adopted mother tried to protect him as much as she could.  The birth mother only called a few times before disappearing again. 

Cut to 2001, we are getting ready to move away to Hawaii for three years.  I was curious about his biological family (Little J was a baby at the time), and wanted to know more about them, so I encouraged Douche to try and contact them before we moved an ocean away.  He found out where they were living and a phone number, and made the call.  We ended up going to his biological mother’s apartment to visit, and all of his half brothers were there.  They were all crazy about the boys, and kept saying how much the baby looked like Douche (he does).  It was a little strange because the mother kept wanting Douche to call her “Mom” and the boys to call her “Grandma.”  At first meeting. 

Then we moved away, and I kept in touch with the mother through mail and occasional phone calls.  Douche never really dealt with her, and it got weird.  That’s the only way I can describe it.  She wanted us to be best buddies.  It escalated more and more, and it became clear that this woman was unwell.  So, I slowly disconnected.  We moved and I didn’t tell her our new phone number, just our address.  Then the next time we moved, I didn’t even give her the address.  This didn’t seem to concern Douche in the least.  He never made any more efforts with his biological family, and I didn’t push.  I had always liked his brothers, though, and felt like they should know their nephews.  No matter what the mother did, it wasn’t their fault.

Once I got onto MySpace, I looked them up, but only found the youngest brother.  He’s been my buddy there ever since.  He’s in the Marines, and seems to have his stuff together.  BUT, he and his mother are extremely co-dependent.  She controls him completely, and it’s gotten so bad that they have alienated the other brothers. 

This morning, when I figured out who it was (it was the older of the two younger brothers), I started chatting with him.  He was trying to find Douche.  Basically, he is longing for a sense of family.  He wants to know ALL of his brothers, and his nephews.  I told him about the split, and gave him Douche’s phone number and email address, and told him I couldn’t promise that Douche would respond, but it was worth a shot.  We actually chatted for about an hour and a half.  I found out that he had gotten married and had two daughters, and that he was working and going to school.  I told him that I considered him family, and that I wanted him to know the boys as much as he could.  We planned to meet up with all the kids next time the boys and I are in Texas, and promised to stay in touch. 

I can’t imagine what it would be like if I didn’t have my sisters.  How horrible would that be?  To have such a big family, but not know anything about them.  He didn’t know that his youngest brother was in Kuwait, or that Douche would soon be going to Afghanistan.  He is scared that he’ll never get a chance to know them.  We promised to keep in touch, and I sincerely hope that Douche will give him a chance.  There’s no reason not to, but…he’s a douche, so you never know.

Wow, this is turning into quite the lengthy post.  Sorry about that!  Tonight, I went to get a pedicure with Bekki.  Not just any pedicure, though.  She and her mother-in-law go every month to this nail salon where they lock the doors for a few customers (I think there were a total of 6), and serve wine and play music and pretty much just let loose.  It was SO. MUCH. FUN!  I always have a blast with Beks, and this was no exception.  I mean, I got pampered AND got to see my BFF?  How cool is THAT?!  The best part was when everyone was done.  One of the owners was a gay guy, and he had been pouring wine the entire time, arguing with us over shape vs. width, and shakin’ his ass to the music.  Well, by the time we were paying for our pedis, he and one of the girls started dancing in the window like it was the red light district or something.  Fuckin’ hilarious!  I’m gonna try to make this a regular thing, not just because I like pedicures a lot (I do), but because I don’t get to see Beks enough, nor do I get out of the house for girl time enough.  We were talking about how fun it would be to have a slumber party with our girlfriends.  We tried to do that at the beginning of last summer, but it kind of got messed up.

Tomorrow morning, my sister is coming over to watch the boys for me so I can spend at least part of the day with my Wonder Twin.  His roomie is out of town this weekend, so we will have the house to ourselves, and I can NOT wait to just be with him.  Oh, and shag him rotten, of course.  Mustn’t forget that.  There will be lots of that.  Also, lots of snuggling. 

I kind of feel like I need to clarify something, not because your comments offended me in any way (they didn’t), but because I feel like maybe I wasn’t clear enough about the situation.  It isn’t that I want more from WT.  That’s not it at all.  The confusion I’m feeling is about whether or not I want to date anyone more than him right now, and whether I can handle dating more than one person at a time.  It seemed from the comments that y’all thought he wasn’t giving me what I wanted or needed, and that isn’t the case.  He makes me super happy, and still has yet to disappoint me.  I’m just trying to figure out what I need and want for me.  Make sense?  I hope so!

Okay, babies, I’m exhausted as I STILL haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep, so I’ll catch y’all on the flip side.

Trying To Find Balance

It takes patience to achieve balance in your life, sometimes, so if you are feeling a little bit out of whack today, breathe through it. Things are going just fine. Sure, certain details aren’t making you smile, but if you step back and look at your life as a whole, things are pretty awesome. Late in the day, you will get some very interesting news that will distract you from whatever unpleasantness have been on your mind. A celebration might be in order.

That’s my horoscope for today.  It’s pretty accurate.  I hope this post makes at least some sense, as I have had very little sleep over the entire week.  Today has been an odd day, to say the least.  Actually, last night AND today were very odd, though yesterday didn’t start out that way.  I went to class, came home, tried and failed to take a nap, and chatted online with a) a friend from school that I recently found through the wonder of Facebook who I haven’t seen since sophomore year, b) my Wonder Twin, of course, and c) his roomie, who is a new IM buddy and is a trip. 

I got an invitation to go to dinner with the Fireman, and I figured why not?  We went to dinner late, after the boys were in bed, and it was fun.  I feel comfortable with him.  We sat there talking until we realized there was no one else in the restaurant and the chairs around us were on top of the tables.  There was kissing, but that is as far as it went.  We talked a lot about different things, and I can tell that he really likes me.  He’s a very nice guy, and I like him a lot.  I started to feel guilty.  Not just for WT, but because I don’t want to hurt the Fireman, either.  That’s not fair to either person, right?  I have no idea what to do. 

I know where I want to be, and it’s not really a possibility right now.  GODDAMN FUCKING TIMING.  So now what?  I know WT isn’t going anywhere, and I’m not going to walk away, but I’m not sure I have any wild oats to sow.  I’m not sure if I can be the type of woman who can “date” more than one man at a time. 

WT and I had another long discussion today, because I felt so strange last night.  He admitted that it did affect him that I had gone out with someone else (he read the blog even though he was WARNED!).  He has a lot of things to sort out, and I know he’s trying to.  He has my heart completely, and he knows that.

Oh yeah, and The Crazy One popped up again today.  Talk about weird.  He sent me a text saying that he was all fucked up, he was going to go to therapy, his boss was helping him pay for it.  I asked him what happened.  I guess he did end up going out with the 19-year-old after all.  Match made in heaven, right?  People have been telling him that she’s doing this and that and he can’t take it.  On Valentine’s day night, she went out clubbing instead of doing something with him.  No shit.  Really?  A teenager acting like a teenager?!  NO WAY!  He asked me what he should do.  I told him that I had already told him it was a mistake, but if he cared about her, talk to her about it.  He apologized for what he did back whenever it was that he sent me that nasty message.  He was very upset, and I know how to talk to him, so I did for a little bit.  I told him that if he does go to therapy, he needs to be completely honest about everything, not just about this incident with this girl.  I also told him to ask them about borderline personality disorder.  I’m pretty sure that’s what’s wrong with him, and it is often misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder.  I really want him to get help that is appropriate. 

So THAT was my Thursday, not including the peer mentor group and drinks with my mom.  I am so fucking tired right now, but I had to get all of that out first.  Deep breath, exhale.  Is it Tuesday yet?

What A Day

~Beep, beep, beep this is a warning~ Beep beep, beep, this is a warning~  Wonder Twin, this may contain information you don’t want to know.  Proceed at your own risk.  Everyone else, please proceed.

Okay, just to start off, yesterday was a whirlwind kind of day.  Literally, there was wind whirling all over the damn place!  Hardy, har, har, I know.  I haven’t slept near enough lately, so I am punch drunk and silly.

Yesterday was the lunch “date” with the Fireman.  After he saw me last week (was it really only a week ago?  Seems longer for some reason.), we had exchanged numbers and he told me to let him know if I ever wanted to get together.  So once WT had given me the green light, I texted asking if Fireman wanted to do lunch one day this week.

We decided to meet at a pub-type place near campus after my class yesterday.  We arrived at the same time, and actually I wasn’t nervous at all.  I’ve “known” him for a long time, we just hadn’t met in person before.  Luckily, he wasn’t short and hadn’t misrepresented his appearance online.  (You know know what I mean, I know you do!)  He is boyishly handsome, which seems to be my new “type.”  We sat down and ordered, and found plenty to talk about.  I was actually rather chatty, which isn’t like me with “new” people.  We got into pretty deep discussions regarding past relationships, but also managed to laugh a lot.

I know you want the details on this one, so here goes.  He has never been married, but he has a 5-year-old son and was with the mother for 6 years.  They split about the same time Douche and I did, I think.  He has his son much of the time, and hearing him talk about him was completely endearing.  I remembered this from last year when we chatted a lot.  You know he’s a fireman, and he loves his job.  He is a homeowner.  He has a bachelor’s degree in history, and wanted to be a college professor before his son was born.

We got up to leave, and realized we had been there for two hours.  I guess I have long lunch dates, huh?   I told him that I was really glad that I had texted him, and that we had finally met in person.  He said he was, too, and we went to hug goodbye.  That turned into a kiss, which turned into more kissing.  What?  I like kissing.  It’s one of my favorite hobbies.  Anyhow, the whole time we were kissing, the song “Fireman” by George Strait was playing in my head.  I’ll add it to the bottom of the page, so you can hear it if you’re unfamiliar.  It made me giggle.  We said goodbye, as he had to pick his son up from school, and I went home to get some rest.  By the way, in a double blind study, it was found that Ginger is an amazing kisser.  In case you ever wondered, it’s true, I gots da skillz.

I genuinely had a great time at lunch, and there is a lot of chemistry there.  I was also pleasantly surprised that I didn’t feel guilty at all.  I guess maybe I will be able to do the whole “playing the field” thing.  If nothing else, it’ll keep the pressure off of everyone, I hope.  I guess as long as everyone knows the score, it’s all good, right?  Fireman asked if he could see me again, and I said yes.  He asked me where the hell I came from, and said he had a really great time, and again said something about my amazing kissing abilities. 

I ended up going home and calling Honey, since we haven’t talked in a while.  I caught her up on everything, and we ended up talking for about an hour and a half, by the end of which I was completely exhausted.  I didn’t sleep well Monday night at all, and got maybe a total of four hours in.  The boys were home already, so I told them I was going to take a nap, and to get me if they needed anything.  I slept about 2 and a half hours and slept like a rock.

Just Checking In

Just wanted to pop in and let y’all know all is well in Ginger-land.  I have had a great day so far, am feeling super, and will see the Wonder Twin later tonight, but I didn’t sleep well and need a nap, so I won’t have time for an involved post, and I probably won’t visit your pages today, but I’ll catch up with y’all tomorrow.  See ya on the flip side, babies!

Weirdness

I am crying and I have no idea why.  Not a clue.  I have been fighting back tears for the past hour or so, and as soon as the boys were in bed, they came spilling out.  I wish I knew why I was feeling this way, just a general melancholy I guess is how I would describe it.  It’s so strange and NOT WELCOME.  I’m gonna watch go watch Superbad and laugh.  Maybe that will work.

Ginger Is In Demand

Not much has been going on.  I was so completely bored yesterday once I got my school work caught up, I kept looking through to see if anyone had updated their blogs, facebook, myspace, Bueller, Bueller.  NOTHING was going on!  GRRR.  Boredom = no fun a ‘tall.

Another little tidbit which I have noticed in the last month or so is that I only have a few commenters anymore.  How come?  I still have the same number of hits for each new post, just not as many comments as there used to be.  Methinks people only comment when people are unhappy?  Not sure, but I am starting to get a complex, people!  I know that I don’t comment unless I have something to add, but DANG, really?  Am I that boring?  In other news, thank you to those who do care enough to speak up.  You are my BFF’s and I shall cherish you always! 

I had to write a reflective paper yesterday for one of my teaching classes, involving asking three people a)what they thought were the most important qualities a good teacher possesses and b)do they believe I will make a good teacher and why or why not.  I asked the Wonder Twin, Bekki, and Nova for their input.  I actually had to ride Nova’s ass a bit to get an answer, since he is a brother in procrastination.   The responses I got back were positive, and they gave me a nice confidence boost. 

I wrote and wrote on that reflection, and was surprised to find that it was five pages long by the time I was finished.  How in the world is it that I can easily write a five page long reflection, but a structured paper is difficult.  GRRRR. 

In my boredom yesterday evening, I began chatting with the one student who always pops up when I’m online.  (He actually just popped up as I was writing this, too.)  He needed help with one of his reflections, and I was trying to coach him through it.  Afterwards, he asked me about how V-Day went and everything.  We started talking about dating and how I have no idea what I’m doing.  I’m great at relationships, but not so much at playing the field.  This boy then admitted to having a crush on me, and that one of the other students had already figured it out.  Truth is, I had, too, but was doing everything I could to discourage it.    He said he’d like to date me, but I told him that wasn’t allowed (I would have damn sure said yes if it had been the Tom Brady look-alike) and gave the excuse of ethics.  The truth is that there is no attraction there on my part. 

I’m going to lunch tomorrow with the Fireman.  Not really sure how I feel about that.  I don’t want to be the person who is with one person but thinking about someone else, if that makes sense.  Hopefully it will be fun, and I have decided that I will write about it.  I can’t give that up.  I suppose I’ll just tell Wonder Twin not to read if he doesn’t want to know details.  Not sure if it would bother him or not, but I know it would bother me to know things like that about him, ya dig?

I felt really weird yesterday morning, and I couldn’t figure out why.  I don’t know if I’m anxious about lunch tomorrow, if I just really miss WT (I do, very much so), or if our discussion the other day put me off balance.  Probably a little bit of everything.  I felt better by the afternoon, so I figure it was nothing. 

PS – If you’re a lurker, please de-lurk just this once and say hi.  I am always looking for new blog buddies, plus you’d make me smile!

Learning to Love Myself

I swiped this from Evil Twin’s Wife, who swiped it from Karen at Smiling Through It All.  I actually saw it on Karen’s page first, but I figured I oughtta mention them both.  It seemed like a good idea to repost it here.  Yes, I had a fun Valentine’s Day lunch with my Wonder Twin.  Not having seen each other for almost two weeks, however, left us both feeling a bit frustrated that we couldn’t *ahem* act on some of our urges, I guess you could say.  Fret not, we’re on track to have Wonder Twin Tuesday in a few days.  (I think I have the feminine equivilent of blue balls, though.)  Here’s the deal:

The general gist of it is:
1.) Post something that you love about yourself.

2.) Beg your readers to post one thing that they love about you.

3.) Enjoy yourself and spread the love by doing sharing this on your blog.

 

The thing I love most about myself is my depth to love others.  It’s something that I used to see as a weakness, but have embraced it more and more the older I’ve gotten.  Sure, it gets me hurt sometimes, but I always bounce back, and I always have more to give.  I like that about me.

Your turn, sprinkle me with love, kiddos!

I’m Not Sure How To Say This

It never bodes well when someone says something to the effect of, “We’ve got to talk,” or, “I’m not sure how to say this, but…”  It always means that something heavy is coming, and you’re left wondering if you’re strong enough to carry the burden.  Luckily, I’m a pretty tough cookie, and the lifting wasn’t so heavy.

I was getting ready for bed, wondering why I hadn’t heard from my Wonder Twin for a few hours, when he popped up on IM and wrote the cringe-worthy, “I’m not sure how to say this…”  My stomach dropped.  Oh God, are you kidding me?  You’re running away, aren’t you?  Why does this always happen?  Those are just a few of the things that ran through my mind in the 5 or so seconds after the message came through. 

It seems that since we had our last long conversation (which was about our feelings for each other), he’s been confused and feeling a little pressured by what those feelings mean.  He was worried that it meant we had to define everything…as in boyfriend/girlfriend.  I told him that while I didn’t think we had a traditional bf/gf relationship, I did think of him as my boyfriend.  I mean, I’m not seeing anyone else, but I’m also not planning my future with him.  There are times when I think, “I would really love him to stick around forever,” because he is just that much fun.  I’ll admit I’ve had a daydream or two about being domestic with his jucy ass.  Every time that happens, though, I remind myself that today is what is important.  Right now.  I guess he’d had some of the same kinds of moments and it was scary for him, confirmed bachelor that he is.

I admitted to him that when my friend asked me out (the one who saw me at Starbucks), I felt like maybe it was a mistake to say no.  My justification for it at the time was that I felt it would be disloyal.  Maybe I’m afraid that no one else could measure up to him?  Maybe I’m just a big scaredy cat in general?  Who knows. 

I feel like for the first time in my life, especially since my divorce, that I’m right where I am supposed to be, right now, on my own.  I am the most confident I’ve ever been, I have the friends I want (not the ones that have been approved by someone else), and I know exactly who I am.  I like the fact that I don’t have to answer to anyone, that no one is always checking up on me and vice versa. 

I think maybe I will go out with that fireman.  As Honey always says, “At least you’ll get a free meal!”  I can’t promise that I won’t feel guilty about it, though maybe I won’t.  I’m not sure how much I will write about it here, though, as WT does read occasionally.  We made a deal not to give each other details on such things.  I know that it would hurt me, and I don’t want that in my head. 

We’re still going to see each other tomorrow (or today, rather…it’s 2 am), and really the only thing that’s changed is that I have the green light to see other men if I want to.  I’m still excited to see him after almost two weeks, and I’m looking forward to the laughs we’re going to have.

Layin’ The Smack Down

I promised to tell y’all a little more about the shenannigans that were afoot in discussion group yesterday, so here goes.  On Monday, I got a text message from Bambi asking if we could have our usual lunch before group.  She had a lot of things to talk to me about concerning our students, and she was angry about something.  I made sure I hadn’t done something to upset her (of course not), and then asked what was up.

I’ll have to go back a bit and tell you about one of our flock.  Let’s call her Brat.  She is 19 years old and this is her second time attempting this class.  Last semester she ended up dropping the class because of personal reasons.  She was allowed to take it again this semester by special permission, and from the first meeting tried to behave as though she knew more than the other students.  She is obnoxious at best, but I reminded myself how young she is, and tried to think that maybe she meant well.  Last Thursday, just as our meeting was to begin, we were all talking about movies and laughing and Brat said something about “My Best Friend’s Girl,” which I haven’t seen.  It stars Kate Hudson and Dane Cook, and Brat said loudly, “I love those two.  I would have a threesome with them because they are so fuckin’ awesome!”  We all just kind of looked at each other, confused.  It was bizarre.  There was something else said that day that was completely inappropriate, but I can’t remember what it was at this point.

Cut to Monday.  Brat had gone to her former mentor (from last semester), and complained that Bambi and I weren’t giving our group what they needed to succeed on their tests, and that she wasn’t the only one who thought so.  Not only that, she also went to the professor (and head of our program) and told him the same thing. 

We have ONE hour with these people a week.  There are seven of them and two of us, and basically, our schedule has been we give the required quiz, grade them, then go over them as a group, explaining the answers.  There are things that Bambi and I don’t remember, as we aren’t actually IN the class at the time, but we make sure someone can answer any questions the students have.  Once we’ve gone over the quizzes, we play one of the games written by the professor (Jeopardy, Millionare, things like that) that contain the information that will be needed for the weekly test.  This is how things were done in my discussion group last semester, and this is how they were done in Bambi’s group when she took the class.  Because it’s how it’s done.  I will admit that Bambi and I have tried to keep things very laid back, because we want our students to enjoy the group.  We also want them to get as much out of it as possible, though, so this was troubling.

Bambi talked to the professor, and he reassured her that we were doing just fine.  He told her we shouldn’t worry about Brat or what she claimed, because he knew how she was and that no one else had complained.  I had told her the same thing.  It’s not as if we can read minds, or make them ask questions about things they don’t “get.”  Besides that, both of us are full-time students, she works part-time, and I have my children.  We don’t get paid to do this, and we spend a lot of time on our students.  There is one that IM’s me every time I am online.  I want them all to feel as though they can bring any problem they have to us, whether it is about the class or not.  However, Bambi and I discussed the situation privately and decided that we will try and make our meetings more structured with less goofing off.  We also decided to try a new activity and see how everyone responds.  We have also scheduled individual meetings with each of the students outside of class time to find out what they think works and doesn’t work, to see if they have any suggestions, and to get a generalized feeling as to where we stand with them.  She is taking on the task of talking with Brat.  I get to have the Wonder Triplet.  Hee, hee. 

We started off the meeting yesterday seriously, whereas before we would be joking around with people as they came in.  Noticeably, Brat was late.  We started the quiz and the scores where all over the place.  Everyone was quiet as we graded them.  Brat got up and left the room for a moment (with her phone).  She came back and we got into our circle to discuss the questions, and when someone veered off topic, Bambi would redirect the focus, and we’d get back on track.  We played Jeopardy, and at the end answered any questions that remained.  Brat got up and left again for another moment (with her phone).  She did this two more times before the end of our meeting.  At this point, both Bambi and I were livid at Brat’s behavior.  If you are going to complain that you aren’t getting enough out of your discussion group, wouldn’t it be important for you to at least be present at said group?!  I mean COME ON!

Deep breath and exhaaaale.  Something really weird happened yesterday afternoon, too.  This needs some background information as well.  Last year, before I met The Crazy One, I had lots of friends that I talked to online, most of them male.  I get along well with guys, always have.  Once I got in deep with TCO, those friendships waned (he was crazy, remember?  Terribly jealous, too.)  Once LS and I broke up, I reconnected with a few of them, gave them the short version of the story, etc., and found out what they’d been up to.  These are people I’ve never met in real life, mind you.

I got a message yesterday from one of them.  He asked me if I had been at Starbucks Wednesday night with my laptop, because he thought he saw me.  I told him, yes, I had, and asked why he didn’t come over and say hi.  Turns out he was there with the girl he’s been dating, and was breaking up with her.  Ouch, that’s rough.  Then, he went on to ask me out.  I told him I was flattered that he asked, especially since I was sick that night and looked terrible (this is one of the reasons you should always try and look your best when you leave the house), but that I was in a relationship.  I told him I wouldn’t mind talking or having lunch as friends, but let him know it wouldn’t be more than that.  This is the fourth man who has asked me out since I decided I didn’t want to go out with anyone other than my Wonder Twin.

How weird is that, though?  I mean, honestly?!  NOW I get men throwing themselves at me?  Where were all these people when I was lonely?  Maybe it’s the phermones or something, who knows.  I’m guessing it’s more that I’m always smiling and laughing now, and I know that confidence is very attractive, too.  Whatever it is, I wish I could bottle and sell it.

Aaaand THAT’S Why You Don’t Procrastinate!

So, that paper I had due last night? I worked on it most of the afternoon/evening, and had it all written up by about 8:15. All I had left to do was to add citations in the text and then transcribe the interview and type up the works cited page. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. No problemo. Except, as soon as I pulled up the Online Writing Lab to figure out how to do the citations, the electricity went out.

In the whole year and a half that I have lived here, this is the first time I can remember our power going out. The poor boys. Little J was down in the basement, afraid to move, and Big J was in the shower, thinking that someone just turned the lights off on him in the bathroom.

Luckily, I always work on my laptop, so I didn’t lose all my work, but my battery was almost dead. I quickly saved what I had (once the boys were rounded up and accounted for) and then fretted over what to do. Even though I had it mostly done, no electricity = no internet connection. Plus, I still had to do all the citations.

I tucked the boys into bed with their mp3 players for comfort (and a little light), and headed to the coffee shop. To say the weather last night was strange is an understatement. For a few days, the temperatures had been very mild, almost in the 60’s, and rainy. Last night, it was rainy with very strong winds, and as I was sitting there, sipping my hot chocolate, it began to snow. Huge, wet flakes blowing sideways across the parking lot. Weird.

I quickly got online and looked up what I needed to, tried to make sure everything was in order to submit, and then logged on to the class page. I was already not a fan of this professor, mainly because of the way the class page is laid out. You have to hunt and search for information regarding assignments (I had to email him just to find out where the instructions were for this paper), you can’t message the other students, and if you want to email him, you have to leave the class page to do so. In online courses, student interaction is important. Apparently, he doesn’t want us interacting unless he can observe it in the forums. Grrrr. These were our instructions for submitting this paper:

         For Peer Edit weeks, your draft should be posted—preferably as an attachment—to the appropriate forum by 11:59 PM on Wednesday of that week. Your two responses should be posted—also preferably as attachments—by 11:59 PM on Sunday of that same week.

No big deal, right?  Except when I went to submit the paper, there was no forum for this week.  There was one for last week and one for next week.  There were about 6 other students who were logged in at the time, but none of them were in the “chat room” area, and there was no way to message them directly.  So, I sucked it up and emailed the professor (who by now probably thinks I’m a little “slow”) asking how we were supposed to submit a paper to a non-existent forum. 

Email sent, I went back to the class page again and searched for more clues like I was Velma from Scooby Doo.  At this point, it was about 10 pm.  There was a high school aged girl sitting behind me yapping on her phone as if there was no one else around, and the word “like” came out of her mouth every 2 seconds.  My mother kept texting me asking if I was done yet.  I was so completely exhausted and frustrated I wanted to scream.

After about ten minutes, I went in and checked my email to see if the professor had gotten back to me.  Lo and behold, he had.  Apparently, there is a separate set of forums for peer edit papers, which is down below everything else on the page.  Okay, so now I look like a huge asshole.  I do that a lot.  Oh well, I never have to see him in person. 

So, I got it all turned in by about 10:30 and was able to head back home for the steamiest, most relaxing shower ever.  Threw on my jammies and got into bed to watch some Arrested Development.

Today I have to recite a poem and teach it to the class.  I’ve gotta go put on makeup and get all purty.  We also have to have a “serious discussion” in our discussion group today, too, which I’ll explain either later or tomorrow.  Later, babies!