Today I had an exam in my second class of the day, so I brought my laptop along with me to surf the interwebs while I was waiting for the next class to start. Good idea, right? Except for some reason, I can’t get the wireless internet provided by the school to work with my computer. It’s connected, but only locally, so I can’t get outside the damn server. GRRR! So, I supposed I ought to actually write a real post, since I’ve been slacking for a while.
Last night, I gave Lord Swank the address for the blog. I have been thinking of doing it for a while, but was kind of afraid to since it’s basically like giving someone the key to my soul. (I’m so dramatic!) I write mostly when I’m upset about something because it makes me feel better. It helps me to sort out my feelings and thoughts and, more importantly, it helps me to understand myself better – my strengths and weaknesses, my fears and motivations. I was sort of afraid that His Swankness might be scared off by some of the darker posts, so I copied a few and emailed them to him. He wasn’t scared. Then I was worried that maybe he would feel weird about reading what I had written about The Crazy One or Douche. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that he probably wouldn’t.
The other day when talking to Dr. W, he said something that really stuck with me. He had asked me to give him some examples of things that I didn’t like about Sir Swank. I couldn’t think of anything to say, other than that he gets grumpy when he’s really hungry. The Doc reminded me how important it is for us to see each other’s faults, and how it would be really nice if we could interview each other’s exes. If this blog doesn’t give examples of my faults, then I don’t know what does! The point is, going into this with eyes open is important. The blog is so much a part of me now that I would hate not being able to share it with the “man in my life.” This is me at my most open and honest. I need it to be okay that I talk about things about us here. Not everything, but when I’m happy about something, I want to be able to share it. Right now, I just want to shout it from the mountaintops how great this guy is, and I want him to know that.
I’m not sure if he’s checked it out yet, and not sure that he will, but I feel better knowing that I gave him the chance, and also that I trust him enough to give him the permission to peek in on my innermost thoughts.
Good for you! It’s so hard to let your feelings be known to new friends. Blogs can be so incredibly personal, and sometimes things in written form can be taken the wrong way, but if you really like him, it’s probably better to let him know up-front.
I hope he reads it and loves your innermost thoughts!
good for you!
The Evil Twin says he reads my blogs to keep up with what’s going on – and he also jokingly calls it “His personal life on display.” Which is totally not true. The fun thing for me is I never run topics by him to get his opinion. I just want him to be surprised by whatever blather I’ve put up there. LOL.
Wow…. you make me feel all dirty for reading your blog. I sort of like that!
That is great that you trust him enough. It’s also true what Dr. W. said though. Just be careful.
First of all….THIS IS SLACKING??? You didn’t tell me you had all these posts up! I bow to the blond leprechaun! lol
Faults unfortunately are easy for me to find. I just try to look past them…sometimes too much.
I am so jealous of you and LS. It’s amazing that you’ve even gotten to this point. I’m proud of you.
Lola – I hope so, too.
Kaylee –
ETW – Well, *I* enjoy your blather!
Ron – Heh heh heh. Pigeon humper!
Teeni – It is great…trying to be careful, though/
Honey – Compared to 3 posts a day, yeah! Bow down, wench!!!
YAY!